Tuesday, December 8, 2009

annual shopping rant v.09

Hello, friends! I hope you are all having a terrific holiday season. And if you're not, there is still plenty of time to turn it around. I spent the majority of the day today shopping, and all I have to say is THANK GOD Christmas isn't tomorrow, or the day after, or even the day after that, because I think I have used up all my accumulated good cheer.

It's that time where I rant and rave about shopping, driving, and whatever else about the holidays that bugs me. It'll be fun for all! Let's begin...

  • Mall operators of America: Thank you for the hard work you put in every year to get us to spend our hard earned money. I have rarely seen my local mall looking more festive, or cleaner than I have this year. I have just one tiny favor to ask of you:

It is not necessary to heat the mall above 70 degrees, ever. When the outside temperatures are around 30 degrees, you can rest assured knowing that the general population will plan ahead and wear the properly called for outdoor wear. Therefore, heating the mall to 85 degrees is ludicrous, unnecessary, and unhealthy. Are you trying to breed the flu? Is there a secret hothouse full of poinsettias in there that I don't know about? It's hot, and uncomfortable, and I don't like to be in a full on flop sweat while I shop. Not only did I NOT take time to window shop, I nearly took off my furry winter Uggs and walked barefoot back to my car.
  • ToysRus: I come to your store because you have a better selection of some toys than Target or Meijer's. Kudos to you for opening early! But I feel I must point out that you occasionally need to have more than 2 registers open. During peak business time and anytime in the two weeks preceeding Christmas, it is not acceptable to have lines snaking thru the store because you don't want to hire enough associates. NOT ACCEPTABLE!
  • Michael's/JoAnn's: You know I can't quit you, even though I would love to. You do a good job of getting those flyers with 40% off coupons to my door, and make me want to buy a little something extra. Why then do you feel the need to put every item in the store on sale so that I can't use any of the coupons?? No lie, I walked around the store for 20 minutes trying to find something that was worth buying that wasn't on sale. Literally everything was 10%, 20%, or 30% off, rendering the coupons useless and just aggrivating me. I like sales as much as the next person. I love finding out something is on sale when I didn't expect it to be. But I hate having that 40% off coupon in my hand and being unable to find one item worthy of using it on. And you can stand to open up some more lanes too. Seriously.
  • Apple store: I adore you. I find little fault with you. Just one tee-tiny request: If you are so kind as to allow me to schedule a genius bar appointment before the mall actually opens (thank you!), then can you just let me buy the stupid $30 item I need so that I don't have to wander around the scorching hot mall for 20 minutes, and wait until 'business hours'. You don't do business like other stores; making me wait is just poor customer service.
  • Person who parks next to my car every time no matter how far away I park in the lot: TAKE AN EXTRA 30 FLIPPIN' SECONDS AND STRAIGHTEN OUT YOUR GODDAMN CAR! Everyone else will be eternally grateful!
  • random charities: I know you are having a rough go of it this year, with the economy and all. Times are tough and money is tight. But I feel like I have to point out that everywhere I turn, there is someone who wants me to hand over some cash. We donate frequently throughout the year, not just during the holidays. We donate regularly through programs at our kids' schools. I don't need you to ask me if I want to donate every time I swipe my credit card or pass through a check out line. It makes me feel guilty to say no. I am much more likely to give to someone who doesn't approach me than the sales clerk who askes every person in line if they want to donate money in a deadpan voice.

Okay, that's it for 2009. I feel much better having gotten these greivances off my chest. I may live to shop another day! (just not for the next few days...y'all are killing me)


Jen on the Edge said...

I'm doing my best to quit Michael's, because that place makes me want to curse furiously from the moment I walk in.

And of course, while I'm stuck in line there (because they only have one or two registers open), I become a sweaty mess because the place is, like your mall, overheated.


Jan C. said...

hahaha--I just got back from the mall. I was afraid to wear my down jacket into the store, because Kohl's is always stifling, so I left it in the car. It was windy, but a little too warm for the coat anyway. Of course, by the time I left the mall, it was freezing, raining, and so windy that my plastic shopping bags were flying from my wrist like little miniature kites. Ugh.

And still, I am heading out now to the other mall to return something I bought on Sunday that was an obvious mistake. Online shoppping beats real shopping any day.

jenn said...

Oh, I so hear you on these! And I'd like the memo about the heat to be sent to my kid's school, also. I go in to volunteer wearing a long-sleeved (but lightweight) sweater and nearly sweat to death. I swear, it's at least 83 degrees in there.