my brain-
my stomach-
me-the reluctant middleman
scene: 2:00 a.m. on a Friday. The rest of the household is asleep. I struggle to do the same.
brain:'wake up wake up. I'm bored. Let's do something.'
me: go to sleep. You should be sleeping.
brain: But I slept yesterday. A lot. And the day before. Now I want to do something else.
me: Really, you need to go to sleep now.
brain: But I don't waaaaaaant to. I want to get up and do something. I'm not tired. I'm not gonna sleep and you can't make me. LalalaalalalalalalalaI'mnotlisteninglalalalalalala
stomach: You had better shut off that annoying toddler you call a brain, or I am going to wake up too.
me: Oh no you don't. You've given me nothing but trouble for the last 2.5 days.
stomach: Sorrrrrry! Now I'm hungry.
me: No you're not. Your just rumbling. You haven't liked anything I put in you. You need your rest. Go to sleep.
brain: I am Henry the Eighth I am, Henry the eighth I am, I am...
me: Stop it right this instant.
stomach: How about cookies? You haven't tried any cookies. A cookie would be good.
me: No cookies. Trust me, you won't be happy.
brain: I know where the cookies are.
stomach: Well, let's go get some. If I don't like them, I'll just send them back out.
me:That's what I'm afraid of...
brain: you should buzz Evan before you go to Florida
me:What does that have to do with anything? Go to sleep or there will be hell to pay tomorrow.
brain:You forgot to buy the plug thingy at Target today.
me: I know
stomach: Still hungry here. NO food for two days, people. That was a real growl. You'd better put something in there or else.
brain: I also know where the ice cream is. The good kind.
stomach: Now we're talkin'.
and this is why I am so tired and need frequent naps.
1 comment:
You are too funny. I too have the same struggle. But, the question is, what separates us from crazy people? Hah! The knowledge that we can't say those things out loud when other people are around. It's a fine line.
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