a non-resolution or two

I hate resoloutions. I never write them down and never EVER keep them. I was thinking the other day in the shower (where all great plans are hatched, btw) and I have a list of not-so-much resolutions as things I want to change for the better. This year would be good. I'm not going to get all crazy if I don't manage to stick to them, but it would be helpful (to me) and eventually to everyone if I did!

• Be on top of things. Get your mind out of the gutter, people. Every year I tend to let things creep up on me, like the end of the school year, the November birthday onslaught, Spring Break. And for some reason, I am amazed that these events are occuring, like I had no pre-existing knowledge of them, and have to scramble at the last minute to pull myself together. Every year come October I know I'm going to need to shut down the garden. Just do it and be done with it. Enough of the 'I was gonna..."
• Be kinder to myself. You are gonna forget things, You are gonna mess up. You are gonna piss people off. Own up to it, apologize and move on. Stop beating yourself up over every little mistake already. Stop trying to crawl into a hole to escape.
• Be more active. In other words, I'm going to get off my fat ass and do something!! I keep saying that I am going to change, but it will never happen unless I force myself to get moving. I'm not expecting to look like a supermodel by the end of the year or anything, but it would sure be nice to go into a store and buy something cute to wear. It would be fantastic to not feel self concsious about my weight and appearance. I can't remember the last time I felt really good about myself. I plan to change that this year.
• Be creative, or be done with it. Scrapbooking, I'm talkin' to you. I have my own room filled to the brim with scrapping supplies and I haven't touched it in 2 years. 2 years. Either decide to jump back into it and use some of this shit or be done with it! Sell it, donate it, have a bonfire, I don't care. I need to make a choice this year. I also have to let go of the embarrasement over how much $$$ was spent on all these suppllies.
• Be balanced. work, play. Junk food, good food. Have to, want to. Me time, them time. Gotta try to get it in balance. I was diong this well for awhile and then it sort of went to hell in a handbasket. Balance is key.
• Be pro-active about my health. This one is really hard for me. I am great at making appointments, lousy at keeping them, and even worse at follow up. I hate going to the doctor, and I have suffered for it. I need to go. My headaches are under control because I went to the neurologist this fall. Imagine that! So now the next thing is going to the girly doctor nomatterhowmuchitkillsme and deal with my painful periods. I need to go to the dermatologist and have my moles checked, and about a thousand skin tags removed. I need to get a mammogram. I need to stop acting like I am 15 and will live forever.
• Be a participant in my own life. I forget to do this a lot, actually. I get caught up in all the 'have to do' things that I forget to have fun. I forget to enjoy my kids. I forget to call my friends. The longer I wait, the harder it is to reestablish those contacts and I get further away from the person I want to be.

Whew, that's a lot of self improvement to be had. I'm tired just thinking about how mature and fabulous I'm going to be.

That being said, I will smack you if come up to me on the street and say something smart assed like 'Shouldn't you be working out?' A girl should only be so fabulous a little bit at a time.