sweet Savannah Belle

sweet Savannah Belle, originally uploaded by dogglips2.

Today I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done.
I had to let her go.

Savannah started her downward spiral last week, with sneezing, of all things.
The vet examined her, and although some of her numbers weren't great, she should be ok. We just needed to get her to drink and eat.
All weekend long, I carried her around like a baby, trying to coax her into taking a small drink her or a nosh there. She was very content to be held (which is so unlike her). The really crazy part was she wanted to be outside all the time. Never in 14 years did she enjoy being outside. This weekend she must have spent 10+ hours out in the sun, checking out the pond or swinging in the hammock.
Yesterday I took her in. It was obvious she needed more help than I could give. She needed fluids. There was a sinus infection (!). There was hope that if the doctor could regulate her kidneys, her toxicity numbers would drop and she would be fine.
All hope left this morning, when she developed signs of nerve damage due to her diabetes, and lost the ability to control her bodily functions. After talking with the doc, I had every intention of bringing her home, for one last day in the sun. Give us a chance to say goodbye in familiar surroundings.
When I arrived I knew it wasn't meant to be. And that is the hardest decision to make.
I am heartbroken. But I know I did the right thing. And I held her until she was gone, even though I was scared and upset.
WE will always love you, Savannah.