WIP

déjà vu

2012-01-26T18:14:00.002-05:00

....And I was soooo optimistic that 2012 was going to be a better year.

I recently found out that my December mammograms (two, BTW) revealed some more spots of something. That means that next week, I will be having another biopsy.

Same shit, different year.

I know the drill; don't worry about anything until you get the result in your hand. Don't think about worst case scenarios and how you'll look bald after all your hair falls out (terrible, for the record. I have at least 2 huge birthmarks on my head that will cause me grief). There are many treatments, some of which you experienced, and they weren't horrible. It's early; we probably caught it early enough.

Still.

I'm annoyed.

I'm depressed.

I don't feel like going to any more doctors.

I don't feel optimistic.

I want to hibernate and not come out until June.

I want to scream and cry "Why ME?". I took it like a champ the first time; I did everything that was asked of me. I take a drug daily to prevent reoccurrence. I paid my dues.

Still. Cancer wins.

I am accepting all the good mojo, vibes, prayers and juju you want to send me!

Project Life: week 3

2012-01-24T16:39:00.007-05:00

Welcome to week three of Project Life.

This week has been a busy one. In addition to doing PL, I was also finishing up all the crafts for my 'Make Something 2012' project. I had so much fun making things for my friends, that I will probably do it again before the year is up. HINT HINT*

I didn't plan on having a 6x12 page this week, but with the MS pics, I didn't have enough room to fit it all in otherwise. Funny, how I start the week off thinking I won't have enough pics and by the end of the week I'm struggling to get them all on there!

This week I also included my Bunco card, a 'hello life' graphic from Ali, and a quote that I found on Pinterest.

I also used one of Cathy's tiny templates for my NOT A TYPO block. I really like these and know I will use them every week.

I also dug thru the mounds of stuff I have and found some journaling blocks, rub ons, and many other little bits of things I want to use.

I had absolutely nothing to put on the backside of the 6x12, so I highlighted my favorite photo of the week.

I made the mosaic using Big Huge Labs mosaic maker and just put it into my document. It's starting to get easier to make all the digital elements. I love them!

ps. If you are on my recipients list, be expecting a package in the next few days!

*my 600th blog post is coming up soon. On that day, I will make something for the first 5 people who leave a comment on this blog. Keep an eye out!

Project Life: week 2 {I'm still here!}

2012-01-18T16:57:00.002-05:00

I finally finished off week 2 and was able to photograph it before it got too dark outside. Go me!

The whole spread. Astute viewers may ask, "Is that a french fry bag?" And the answer would be yes, it is a french fry bag. Why? Because I like it.

As you can see, this week I broke out some embellishments. And my sewing machine. I created two 6x12 layouts again this week, for more storytelling.

I really love these page protectors, and working with little canvasses. They are perfect for Instagram pix and little decorations.

So far this project is the bombdiggity. Even if the people at Costco think I'm crazy for ordering 67 cents worth of photos at a time.

stuff

2012-01-17T17:25:00.003-05:00

I have started approximately 9,341 projects in the last few days and finished exactly one of them. I don't know what the deal is, why I'm so scattered right now. I'm going to chalk it up to the fact that I've had a headache every day in January, no exaggeration. I'm sleeping for crap, and then walking around like a zombie for the rest of the day. In the meantime, my brain has chosen 3 am as prime "Great Idea!" time. Instead of capitalizing, I'm fighting it.

In other words, I'm a mess.

I will {maybe} take pictures of my Project Life week 2 tomorrow. If the sun shines. If my head hasn't exploded first.

In the meantime, a photo of something pretty and fun I've been working on...

Later!

Project Life: week 1

2012-01-09T14:46:00.004-05:00

I made it through week one! And I don't want to quit yet! Go me :)

I am using an American Crafts album that I had sitting around. I found some cute patterned paper to cover it with, but it's not quite big enough. I've got the think about how I want to proceed.

I borrowed a few page protectors from Nicole, so that I could get started. I also had some 6x12 page protectors that I threw in there. I had to re-punch the holes, but they work just fine. Look at me making due!

I used these templates from Cathy Zielske for the journaling.

I used this template from Ali Edwards on the backside to include a longer story. I've never done much with digital scrapping before, and it took me three times as long as writing out the story would have taken me, but I love the way it looks, and it will only get easier!

I've pulled out a few stamps to add a word each week and some dates. I'm trying to keep it simple. I may decide to go back and add some embellishments at some time, but for right now, it's good.

Except I notice that I forgot to take a photo of the second page by itself.

I'm on Fire

2012-01-06T15:01:00.002-05:00

I have been coveting the new Kindle Fire for the last three months, and yesterday it became mine!

I haven't had much time to play with it. I ended up with a monster migraine last night and didn't play. Today I have been gone almost all day. I will have it mastered by this weekend!

I don't know what to call my new gadget. This is the song I hear in my head every time I think of it:

So I need suggestions for what I should call it. Bernadette? Bernice? Something less fiery?

Project Life

2012-01-03T16:39:00.004-05:00

I am such a sucker.

I will jump on any bandwagon, especially those that involve buying new stuff.

It's all Nicole's fault.

I have been able to resist buying all the latest and greatest scrapbooking supplies. 5 years. That's how long it's been since I've scrapped. I miss it, and yet can't picture myself putting the time into the hobby that I used to.

Enter Project Life.

Already this project is stressing me out, because I came late to the party and all the good stuff is gone. I ordered the Clementine core kit. Because I need something new and pretty to get the mojo flowing.

I don't have the page protectors. I don't have the monthly dividers. I don't have the album. What I do have is a room full of stuff I haven't used in far too long. For me, this project will be about using what I have and getting reacquainted with scrapping.

And in February I can have the page protectors and dividers and journal cards.

Wish me luck!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T18:55:00.002-05:00

2012. It's finally here!

I was more than ready to let go of 2011.

I'm hoping for a stress free, drama free, cancer free 2012.

I know that I probably won't get everything I want, but hoping that by putting it out there, it will be so! The power of positive thinking, ya know!

And I started off the new year by ringing it in with my BFF, who came to visit for 2 days. It was awesome.

Glad to see you, 2012. I hope we'll be friends.

Tinsel free!

2011-12-23T17:51:00.003-05:00

We started the week like this...

...and ended it like this!

Finally! After nearly 2 full years of wearing braces, Miss Emma got them off on Wednesday. It was less painful than she had been led to believe ( a good thing!) It's a shame that she has to immediately cover them up with a retainer, but we'd like them to stay nice and straight. Her retainer is completely invisible, so except for a little bit of a lisp and extra shininess, you'd never know she has it on!

We are happy to see her beautiful smile back in action.

Best Christmas gift ever, for her!

Deck the halls, Treiber style

2011-12-21T06:00:00.001-05:00

Hello, and welcome to our home!

This year I decided to participate in the Holiday Homes tour, sponsored by Jen the magnificent.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that the day to take and post pictures is here, I am second guessing myself. Will the decorations measure up? Did I really need one more damn thing to do in a crazy busy week?What if I just took pictures of someone else's' stuff?

Let's start at the foyer!

I have this awesome bunch of curly twigs that I got at the farmer's market. We threw in some teal colored glitter twigs, and I had some various silver ornaments that didn't fit on the tree. An entryway decor is born! The only piece of real evergreen is on the table, and it's already shedding it's needles like nuts. Between the pine needles and the glitter, maybe this whole scenario should have been moved somewhere where every person who comes through the door doesn't track it in. Lesson learned!

The truth of the matter is that we have so many decorations. Literally 30 totes worth of stuff. Not all of it gets put out. This year we didn't put out our Christmas village, or the Nativity, or the snow globes, or 2 of our trees. This is just a smattering of the stuff that did get chosen this year.

This is my family room. I didn't finish decorating the mantel (because I am lazy and it involved dusting). I made the quilt before we were married.

My husband has collected the Hallmark car & truck of the year ornaments since they very first began. About 5 years ago, we decided they needed their own tree. And they outgrew that tree, and got a new even larger tree, This year, he chose to display them on a garland over the fireplace. I didn't count, but they barely fit onto the 12 foot garland.

Our anniversary is one week before Christmas. One year, I bought him this palm tree. Many of our favorite beach/sea/nautical themed ornaments are on this tree.

In our living room is our main tree. We don't have a theme. It's decorated with ornaments that we have collected over the years. Some the kids have made. (My kids are 12 & 14, and begged for many of their handmade ornaments to not be displayed. Buttheads.)

This is the tree during the day...

...and at night.

This is my snowflake & icicle window. It's been an evolving project over the last few years. It's also the very last thing to come down; usually in February. This year I added the snowy trees at the bottom, and the lights. It's my favorite place to sit in in the house. I love that the tree reflects in the windowpanes, and it's warm and cozy.

Last, but not least, is our new kitten Dexter. We got him a week ago. He loves the tree. He loves the packages. He loves the string. He loves everything about it.

We decorated outdoors as well, but I tried many times to get a good photo or two and was unsuccessful. You'll have to trust me when I say my hubs did a great job with our blue, green & white lights. Very classy. Would look lovely with snow.

I hope you enjoyed this little peek into our home!

Tomorrow we celebrate!

2011-12-20T20:36:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow we celebrate Christmas with my dad & stepmom. Today has been a flurry of activity: baking 4 kinds of cookies, cards, wrapping, blogging (be sure to come back tomorrow for the Holiday Homes tour). I'm exhausted and everything hurts.

Tomorrow is also a huge day because Emma gets her braces off! She is over the moon happy right now. Counting down the hours.

And just because,

something cute.

Today is going to be Wicked awesome!

2011-12-18T10:40:00.003-05:00

Happy Anniversary to my awesome hubs who got us tickets to see Wicked today at the Opera House! When the tickets first arrived 3 months ago, it seemed like a lifetime away. I'm so excited.

It's our 18th anniversary. All year I had been thinking it was our 19th, and next year would be the big two oh. Wrong. 2013 will be 20 years. Basic math skills, I has them.

18 years and two great kids is nothing to sneeze at though! I may complain and whine from time to time, but my life is pretty blessed :)

NHS Christmas concert

2011-12-17T16:09:00.002-05:00

This week Emma performed for three nights at her school's annual Christmas concert. We went on the middle night, the night she performed with both her regular choir and her Freshman select choir. The whole family went to support her and hear her sing.

The show was amazing. Northville High is #1 in the state in choir for a reason! It was two hours of beautiful holiday music. And because Emma likes surprises, she didn't tell us that she was going to have 4 solos. We were more than surprised!

(I apologize for the picture quality. Terrible!)

At the end of the concert all of the bands went onstage to sing the Hallelujah chorus, and everyone in the audience stood and sang along. It was very moving.

We are so proud of our songstress. She practiced every free minute and is so brave to sing on the stage in front of hundreds of people. Love you!!

On the 14th of December, my true love gave to me...

2011-12-14T15:57:00.004-05:00

...an unexpected furry gift!

He's 8 weeks old and completely adorable. We are still trying to figure out what to name him. Lola is very funny with him; equal parts of wanting to play with him and bite him. By MOnday I'm sure they will be the best of friends.

It's all about the presents

2011-12-06T17:09:00.003-05:00

The acquisition of gifts for family and friends has begun in earnest.

This year, as well as every other year in recent memory, the people who are easy to shop for are very easy to shop for; the people who are hard to shop for are very hard to shop for.

Add in 2 December birthdays and an anniversary (ours), and gift giving can become downright stressful.

I'm about 75% finished with my shopping. It's just those tricky, hard to buy for people that are throwing me for a loop.

Online shopping has been my friend this year, and many of my gifts have come delivered by the happy brown truck. Last week, I averaged 2 packages a day. I've placed several more orders, so I'm expecting next week will be busy as well.

I was very surprised an happy to receive a chocolatey package from my friend Jen yesterday. She was extolling the virtues of Vosges bars, and I may have said that I would cut a bitch for one of their bars. She sent three:)

Next up: Christmas cards. I am falling behind this year!

Hello, December

2011-12-02T17:38:00.003-05:00

Two of Lola's favorite (non-people) things:

warm laundry and sunbeams.

When I'm carrying the laundry basket

she will race me to the bedroom and jump on the bed in anticipation

of freshly laundered, warm clothes to snuggle in.

I always pretend to be irritated,

but who doesn't love warm clothes from the dryer?

And the only sunbeams that come into our house in the afternoon

happen to fall right across our bed. Conveniently.

Spoiled rotten.

Novemblur

2011-11-27T16:33:00.002-05:00

I have posted one time in November. That is an all time low for me!

I have taken even fewer photographs. I don't know why I don't think to take more. I have to get better at that again! I used to love to take pictures.

Anywho, here's a run down of what we've been doing this month:

November is a big birthday month. Evan, my Mom, my Stepmom, and my Mother-in-law all have birthdays in November. We ate lots of cake.
We hosted Thanksgiving. I cleaned house for 2 days and Bart did 99% of the cooking. It was a nice day. Food was delicious and everyone was happy.
Evan played futsál every weekend.
I continue to go to the chiropractor several times a week. My back is feeling pretty good...now if I can just get my neck to co-operate then I will be great!
Leaves. Lots and lots of leaves. At our house. My dad's house. My mom's house.
My etsy store has been busy! I have been knitting pretty constantly to have items in stock.

Add in all the other everyday stuff a mom does, and it's been busy around here, but not too crazy. I like November for it's pared down schedule.

Less than a month to Christmas. Holy Cow!

five good things: October 2011

2011-11-06T12:18:00.004-05:00

Ack! Once again November has snuck up on me. A whole week flew by and I'm staring at the second week of November. Seriously? STOP MOVING SO FAST!

And I haven't felt like posting anything in forever, so now I have tons of things circling thru my mind that I will never get around to saying.

So here is my list of 5 good things from October!

1. The end of the soccer season. This is not actually true. Practices started right back up this week. However, I no longer am driving to Canton a few times a week, nor are there any regular games scheduled for either kid. Evan's team is playing futsal, while Emma's team is not doing anything as of this moment. She will be training and conditioning for high school tryouts over the winter. I suddenly have free time again!

2. My Chiropractor. 2 weeks ago, Sunday morning, I woke up fine. An hour later, after vegging on the couch reading, I was unable to move my legs. Monday morning was no better, so I called a local chiropractor to see if I could get an adjustment. They took tons of X-rays, which showed all sorts of painful things going on in my body.

Luckily I am able to reverse many of them and eliminate my pain. I love this doctor. I should have gone years ago, with all the headaches and neck pain I have. I am a believer!

3. Lunch with friends! I was lucky enough to find time to meet up with three friends this month...Lisa, Judy & Kirsty. I want to try to meet up with someone every week this month, if I can.

4. Emma made the Freshman Select Choir. She was very nervous and didn't think she stood a chance, but was chosen over many girls with vocal training and who perform other places. We couldn't be prouder of her, and can't wait to attend her first concert!

5. October TV. It's no secret that I love TV. It's a big part of our lives. Two of my very favorite shows returned this month, Dexter and The Walking Dead. And just in case you weren't clear that we like freaky tv shows, we've added in American Horror Story, which is the weirdest of them all! Sooooo good it's scary. Disturbing. I love it.

6. Michigan State besting U of M. Again. Enough said :)

7. Fall splendor. October was a gorgeous month, with lots of warm days and cool nights. Fall is my favorite season...I just wish it would last a little longer. This October has probably been the best weather wise in many years. Almost makes the onslaught of winter tolerable. Almost.

Dem Bones

2011-10-29T16:22:00.002-04:00

Last week my bones revolted and overthrew my body.

I didn't do one thing in particular to cause the revolution; it was more of a progressive slide into total unhealthiness that did me in. When I woke up on Sunday, I was fine. An hour later, I couldn't move my legs without great pain.

I have been wanting to check out a local chiropractor for a few months now. I sleep poorly, and am always throwing my neck out of whack. And with all the knitting I do, I have been having a lot of pain in my elbow and shoulder, to the point of hardly knitting for weeks on end. I wanted to see if I could get an adjustment and help prevent further occurrences like these.

Obviously, the need became urgent on Monday when I could still hardly move.

I called the doctor in the local phone book, and they were able to get me in right away. He did x -rays, moist heat, traction, and finally an adjustment. Pure relief.

The x-rays showed that I had several lumbar vertebra out of alignment, and that my pelvis was torqued to the left. I have some degeneration in my neck, and bone spurs that are aggravating the nerve.

The good news is, that most of this can be reversed. I am continuing to go in for 14 adjustments, and in the meantime working on strengthening my core. So, crunches. Lovely.

The other thing I have to do is try to sleep on my back, which is a lot harder than you would think. I flip flop all over, 30 times a night. Laying flat on my back is unnatural to me. I'm hoping a new core pillow will help.

So friends, treat you back nicely and strengthen your core!

The Reveal...Emma's room

2011-10-25T17:48:00.002-04:00

Sorry to keep you waiting for the 'money shot' as my husband so lovingly called it. Between cloudy, rainy days,and teen messiness, the room was not suitable for photographing.

Here is the finished room!

The blinds will be replaced soon, hopefully. Emma keeps looking at curtains. She likes the expensive ones, naturally.

The rug took over a month to arrive, because Pottery Barn kept sending the wrong color. Like 3 times. Every time they messed up, Bart would call and they'd offer another discount. Hey, we like discounts!

The floor photographs very dark, but there is a lot of tonal variation throughout. I really like the dark wood...the main problem being dog hair. I vacuumed the room to take this photo and already I can see white hairs all over.

Lola thinks the rug is cozy! It's perfectly placed in a late day sunbeam :)

Thanks for all the kind words about our DIY project!

This is Halloween

2011-10-24T17:39:00.001-04:00

My friend Sharyn posted this today, and I have to steal it because it's the coolest thing I have ever seen. I wish I was cool enough to do this to my house. Enjoy!

Emma's room redeux part 2

2011-10-12T16:41:00.006-04:00

Here's the stripped down bare floor

Bart and my dad laying down the underlayment

Working across the room

Working in the closet

The finished floor

Evan & I went to his soccer game in the morning and by the time we came home, Bart & Emma had ripped up the carpet, pad and staples. Time to do the hard work!

The underlayment was tricky to work with. It is basically a moisture barrier, and only has one sticky edge on it. The trick is to lay it down and not overlap it, or to have any wrinkles, which was nearly impossible considering we had to walk on it.

Bart, Greg & my Dad started in front of the closet, alternating long & short boards, marking what needed to be cut. Emma was the runner, running pieces out to Bart's Dad who was manning the circular saw. I watched for awhile, and then Bart let me do the majority of the room. For anyone who knows my husband, this is a big deal. He never relinquishes control, and I usually just stand around. Not on this project! Of course he came back and finished it off and did the closet, but I was happy that I got to do some of the work too!

Emma's room redeux part 1

2011-10-10T16:13:00.004-04:00

Sometime in the last 2 years, my 14 year old daughter has been bitten by the decorating bug. She watches all the shows on HGTV with her dad, and has very specific opinions about how things should look.

As if 14 year olds didn't have enough opinions.

She started nagging us for hardwood flooring in her room last year. We pretty much ignored her for as long as we could. Hardwood flooring is expensive. Time to install the floor was nonexistent. She kept on us though. Her Dad caved.

Here are some before pix of her room, with (according to her) the world's nastiest carpet. Girl, you sadly were too young to remember the really nasty stuff that was in this house when we moved here!

Tomorrow I will post pictures of the new and improved bedroom!

Homecoming

2011-09-29T18:36:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was homecoming, Emma's first big event of High school.

Dress shopping was fun and painless...she found something she loved in three hours or less. She found some friends to go with and a place to dine, and was all set until the big day.

I may be a little biased, but I think she was the most beautiful girl in town.

Maxie came over to help with makeup and jewelry :)

18 years and 26 days

2011-09-27T09:37:00.002-04:00

Last photo of my sweet Ben, taken on Saturday, the last day he was mobile.

He was a part of our family for 18+ years. Almost my entire adult life.

These last 'bonus' 26 days have been filled with lots of attention, holding, stroking of fur, scratching of chins, and I love yous. I can't believe he survived the last 7 days without food, 2 without water. He just didn't want to go.

Thanks for being the best kitty ever, sweet gentle Ben.

We will always love you.

You will always be my first baby.

On my iPhone: end of summer

2011-09-24T14:11:00.003-04:00

I currently have 472 photos on my iPhone. That's far more than I've taken with my camera in a very long time. Here are a few favorites from the end of summer 2011.

LMDO: Laughing my diaper off. Awesome.

Lola enjoying a corn on the cob. Be careful...she will bite you and she will try to steal the cob.

All packed and ready to go to Temagami.

Home from soccer camp. Someone was a little tired. I can't imagine why she chose this as her resting spot.

On the road again...

Cool fungi on Temagami

Beautiful sunset view from my kitchen.

Plunging into the icy cold lake in Temagami.

Bates hamburgers: an after Ortho tradition. Every appointment is followed by a trip to Bates. 2 burgers, a large fry, and a large chocolate shake, which we share. Next month she gets her braces off and we'll have to make up excuses to go to Bates.

Em & I in Temagami.

This kid had a birthday and I didn't blog about it

2011-09-23T11:51:00.004-04:00

The first few weeks of school have been kicking my butt, as usual. Add in soccer games, practices, tournaments, and open houses and I have been a scattered mess.

This week there has been a little more time to breathe. Next week will be better.

So anyway, my beautiful baby turned 14 on Sunday. I was with her in Lansing at a soccer tournament (naturally) while Bart was with Evan in Dublin, Ohio for a tournament (naturally). It was actually a pretty good day, considering. She started the morning with a raspberry turnover from Grand Traverse Pie Company (a favorite) at the crack of dawn. She scored a goal (the game winning goal, it turns out) in her game. We drove around the campus of MSU for awhile so she could see it. Totally deserted. weird. It was 10:30, NOT 8:30. We wanted to go into the SBS but it doesn't open until noon. That's how I can tell I'm getting old; being incensed at how things are done. Seriously, noon? I'm sure I was out and about before noon on Sundays.

So we went home and rested and watched tv and snuggled with Lola. Took her to the park. Waited for the boys. We wanted to get sushi for dinner but Koji was closed so we ended up at Poole's tavern. Another favorite. No complaints :)

She is turning into such a fun and wonderful young woman. You'll probably never meet another 14 year old who begged for hardwood flooring for her birthday (and got it). We have some good conversations. She takes her studies very seriously. 14 looks like it might be a little sassier than 13, which was plenty sassy to begin with. I'm hoping it's a phase. Otherwise, this kid is practically perfect in every way. Love love love.

7 days and going strong

2011-09-08T17:54:00.002-04:00

Exactly one week ago we were rushing home from vacation, trying to beat the 6pm closing time of our vet's office. Our precious kitty, Ben, was very sick and probably not going to make it more than another day or so. He was on medication and doing better before we left, but took a turn for the worse. He'd lost a lot of weight, was not eating, needed a blood transfusion, had a mass in his belly. The prognosis was grim. The only thing we knew for sure was that we wanted to bring him home. As soon as possible, for as long as possible.

It was a very long car ride. A very emotional car ride.

The first night was rough. Ben was frail, and we were afraid of mishandling him; we didn't want to cause any pain. We brought him into our room, so that if he needed us, we would be there. We slept on and off all night, never too deeply. I checked on him 20 times. And in the morning, he was still here.

We carried him into every room we were in. Offered food constantly. Put little dishes of water all over the house. Above all, we spent time with him. We snuggled him and told him how much we loved him.

Fast forward a week. Every day he has gotten stronger. He's eating 10 times a day, using his litterbox, jumping up on and off of the furniture, curling into a ball and sleeping, grooming,

purring.

In other words, he is acting like his old self.

He is still extremely skinny, and I know he isn't cured. But every extra day I get with him is a miracle. Every morning when I wake up and he's sitting there waiting for us to feed him is a great day in my book.

And to think that they wanted to administer the final shot to him. I'm so glad we listened to our instincts and brought him home.

First day of school wrap up

2011-09-06T20:55:00.003-04:00

It was a quick one...the kids only had half a day. Ridiculous.

Evan is in seventh grade this year. Overall, I think he's happy with his schedule. We all got a surprise in that he was placed in Advanced Math after being told his grades weren't enough to keep him in. Band, AR, History, French, Science, ELA & Painting round out his schedule. Painting? He was aiming for rocketry.

Emma is in ninth grade. She also likes her teachers and classes. Right off the bat her biology teacher tried to discourage freshmen from being in the class. We're hoping that isn't the tone for the whole year. She knows it's going to be hard. She's willing to work. We've got the driving situation worked out. No homework the first day. Things are good.

five good things : August 2011

2011-09-04T19:01:00.003-04:00

August was kind of a crap shoot for me.

I spent about 2 weeks with a nasty stomach virus that blew in like a storm and lingered much longer than necessary. I'm still not convinced that it's fully gone, because the last few days it's been bothering me again.

The virus was so bad that I missed my 25th high school reunion and my sister-in-law's birthday celebration.

I also didn't drink coffee or eat dairy for 2 weeks. Two of the major food groups and I was unable to enjoy either. It practically killed me.

On the other hand, the hateful heat that plagued us for the month of July disappeared and we had some very nice, unseasonably cool weather. I hope that it's a sign of a beautiful Fall to come.

1. The Help

I don't get to go to the movies as often as I would like, so when I do I want to see something that is great. This is a great movie. I loved the cast, all of them. I loved that this movie showcased so many fantastic actresses. It was as good as the book, which is rare. I highly recommend it.

2. I was surprised with tickets to not one, but TWO shows that I really have wanted to see. We'll be seeing Kathy Griffin in September and Wicked in December, on our anniversary! I couldn't have been more surprised or happy. I can't wait!
3. Watching a new team come together.

This year Evan moved up to 11x11 play, on larger fields, a new coach and with an almost totally new team. That is a lot of changes in one season. They had their first test as a team during the Rush Kick Off Classic, and performed very well. They won the first three games and lost the final game. While they do have some work to do this season, I saw some really good soccer. I can see the improvement Evan has made in the short time he has been training. It should be an exciting season.
4. Transitioning to high school.

Sometime in the two weeks before Transition Day, I started to get emotional and freaked out about the fact that my baby girl will be in high school this year. How is it possible? It's just the most bizarre feeling to me. She has handled it like a pro. Her supplies are organized. She's printed out several copies of her schedule. She's found some friends to have lunch with. She even mapped out her route from class to class, complete with arrows. I was a basket case in HS. I was so afraid to be alone in classes. She's just so cool about it all. How did I give birth to this uber smart creature?

She even attended her first school function: the freshman dance. And she had fun. We are ready to tackle this year! (some of us more than others)

So, I don't have a fifth thing this month. I consider myself lucky to have anything good to focus on after being sick. I will take my four good things and file them away.

August 2011, you weren't the worst month, but you weren't the best either.

Hello, September.

Temagami, here we come!

2011-08-26T09:27:00.003-04:00

In just a few short hours, after the young man has been transitioned into seventh grade, we are headed north, far north, to visit Temagami, Ontario Canada.

We're all so excited. There was a time this summer we weren't sure we'd find a weekend that would work, between soccer, summer school, & Bart's schedule. But this one works just fine. The last hurrah before school starts.

So until the first of September, I will have no internet access and won't be able to check on y'all. Don't do anything dumb while I'm gone. Stay safe from Hurricane Irene. I'm going to miss ya!

frosh

2011-08-24T20:13:00.002-04:00

Somehow, this little peanut is going to high school tomorrow.

My heart can't take it.

I have been preparing for a year now, and yet, this week I am gobsmacked. High school? Didn't she just start kindergarten? I remember waiting with her at the door for her first day of school.

And I remember my first day of high school, for that matter. It's such a strange place to be in...watching your child experience the things you remember doing not that long ago.

After her first day, she has a freshman dance and we have a parent orientation meeting. Good, because I have no idea about what goes on at the high school. I've only ever been to the cafeteria and the auditorium. This school is ginormous. I can't imagine having to navigate thru that every day. I'm nervous for her, but I'm also glad it's not me. I know she'll be just fine; this kid is way better equipped to handle high school than I ever was.

Good luck, sweetie.

five good things : July 2011

2011-08-04T15:05:00.004-04:00

It's time for another installment of five good things, where I name at least 5 things that happened in the last month that were pretty cool. On a day to day basis, sometimes this feels like an impossible task. It's been hot hot damn hot, and humid this month, making we want to crawl into a hole until October. So here goes!

1. Segwaying thru Chicago on the 4th of July. Chicago is awesome, and what could be more awesome than riding a Segway around the city for two hours? Nothing.Nothing is cooler. If you are ever visiting a city and they offer a Segway tour, take it. It's worth every penny. And it's fun. And your kids will love you.

2. Cousins that visit for 10 days.
3. Inappropriate pictures on your camera. Always good for a laugh.
4. Construction on the pergola is making progress! It's going slow, but some forward progress has been made. Hopefully by the end of summer it will be all done and we can enjoy some lovely shady afternoons in the back yard.
5 .Hello, lover. Completely out of the blue, Bart bought me a brand new MacBook Air. It is lovely. It took me a week to get all of my photos and files off my old one (which now belongs to Evan), and I am enjoying playing with this new beauty more each day. Bart Rocks!!
6. A ripe tomato in July! I haven't had one in a few years. It's small, but nothing beats a homegrown tomato for flavor.

Hello, August

2011-08-01T12:28:00.002-04:00

It's barely noon on the first day of the month, and I have already medicated myself three times against a monster headache lurking under the surface, and threatened to kill my son if I see his face again before 3:00.

It's going to be a long month.

on my iPhone: July 2011

2011-07-19T09:59:00.004-04:00

I love having a good quality camera at the ready, when I don't feel like carrying around my digital. The camera on my iPhone is worth the price alone, and there are so many cool apps you can add to it.

Here are 10 shots from July 2011, in no particular order.

4 man splashdown. Matt, Luke, Bart & Evan. I don't know what was trickier; trying to avoid the sun flare or trying to avoid getting wet.

Max having a snack poolside.

Lola and her funny sit. Bunny ears optional.

Me, zombified.

Bart & Emma in Chicago.

Lola under someone's bed. I didn't take this picture. I just found it on my phone.

Chicago, as seen from my Segway.

Evan & Luke by the pool. I turned them into bubble faces, and they look awesome.

In my pond today.

Driving with my girl.

5 good things- June 2011

2011-07-07T13:52:00.008-04:00

Welcome July!

I wasn't home at the end of June/beginning of July, and this is the first chance I've had to blog my five good things for June 2011.

June is a hard month. Every year I am gobsmacked at how much there is going on in June. It's like I have selective memory loss every time it rolls around. For the record, July is shaping up to be nearly as busy. I'm wondering where the 'slow down' button is.

1. & 2. the weather/my garden

June was a perfect month for people to don't like the heat of summer. We rarely turned on the AC, and didn't water the yard at all, because we had plenty from mother nature. Everything in my yard is lush and beautiful, and more things are blooming at the same time. The weeds have been manageable. It just plain looks good. It makes me happy.

3. Emma testing out of Algebra 1.

My kid doesn't want to take Earth Science next year, so she took it upon herself to attempt to test out of Algebra 1 and go directly to Geometry and Biology next year. With only 3 days of prep, she passed the test. Awesome.

4. A new club

These four girls are the newst addition to the Canton Celtic U15 girls white team. We tried to stay with Rush, but after the first day of tryouts it became clear that there were not going to be enough players to have a team. We didn't want to have a combined team like last year. Options were looking bleak. Our coach suggested we go to the second day of tryouts in Canton, so we did. All four girls made the team. It will involve more driving, but they will get to play, which is all they care about.

5. First birthdays

My nephew Max turned 1 on June 5th. I love getting to spend time with him one day a week. He enjoys every minute he is here with us, and this summer is going to be so much fun. Emma is his 'primary caregiver' until school starts, and it's lovely to watch them together. They will have a bond forever because of the time they spend with each other now.

And this brings us to the heat of July! I hope I will be able to think of 5 things that make me happy, and that 4 of them won't be air conditioning!

I survived the first day of school!

2011-06-28T08:58:00.003-04:00

Not a typo...yesterday was the first day of school. Summer school. A place that I actively spent 10+ years trying to stay out of. I am in the unenviable position of having to send one of my children there. I don't need to name names, but you can judge from the photo who is involved. Also, one of my children just studied very hard for 3 days and tested out of Algebra 1.

It was not this child.

A Little backstory: This kid is incredibly smart. Tests very well, had always been recommended for advanced classes. For whatever reason, he stopped trying to do well. What started out the year as A's & B+'s had dropped down to C's and 2 D's. It's not that he can't do the work...in many cases he did the work and just didn't turn it in. It's all laziness and lack of caring. Summer school is our way of preparing him to be a better student in 7th grade, and to show him we mean business. D's are not acceptable. He is taking a math course. It won't change his grade, but hopefully will help him start the year off with an advantage.

Needless to say, the very idea of summer school is cruel and unusual punishment, which I have been reminded of every day for the last month or so, when it became apparent that summer school was a necessary evil.

Last Monday, at the ungodly hour of 7 am, I attempted to wake the student and was met with much resistance. There were many threats tossed about, and eventually the student dragged itself out of bed, promising to hate me for the rest of it's natural life. There is no reasoning with a kid about summer school. There just isn't.

We went to school, where we found out that it didn't start until the following week, so that my family could tease me mercilessly for the next 6 days. Isn't being an adult fun?

You would also think that the student had time to prepare, seeing as he had an extra week. But come Monday, the same ugliness began the day. The same "I won't learn anything" and "This is the stupidest thing you've ever done". I bit back many comments about how the student has no one to blame but himself. It's as much punishment for me as it is for him. I don't do 7am.

When I picked up the student at 10:30, he exited the building with a smile and hopped into the car.

"It wasn't that bad, and it was actually kind of fun. We get a recess! I knew most of the kids there. The teacher was nice. Yes, I understood everything she was saying. Tomorrow we get folders and a textbook. No, there won't be homework. Now that I know what to expect, I won't give you any more trouble. The time goes by pretty fast."

And that was that.

Only 19 more sessions to go.

class of 2015

2011-06-16T17:59:00.001-04:00

There I was, minding my own business, when I find that I suddenly have a high schooler.

weekend review

2011-06-14T16:35:00.003-04:00

Every year come June, we are so busy that I can't think straight. And then I put it aside and forget about it until the next June, when I'm dumbstruck by all the stuff going on. How does it sneak up on me?

This weekend was a busy one: 5 soccer games and a graduation party.

Friday: Evan had a 7pm game in Fenton, which is an hour drive. Traffic was heinous. We left at 5:15 and almost didn't get there in time. The fields were terrible, it was cold and damp, and they lost 1-0. We got home after 9:00 and after a quick shower jumped back in the car to go to the graduation party of Sydney, the daughter of one of my BFF's and my kids' lifelong friend. I can't believe she is graduating from high school. Impossible. We didn't stay very long, since we got there so late and because we had games the next day.

terrible photo. Next time I will bring my camera!

The kids' games were early and at the same time, so Bart went with Evan & I went with Emma. His team lost, her team won. Evan came home from the game with a fever and slept the entire rest of the day. Very odd...this has only happened less than a handful of times. He was well enough to play his final game on Sunday, which they won. Thanks to Coach Eric for all the good advice and instruction over the past 18 months.

Emma's final game of the season was Sunday night. During the game she began to feel sick as well, so decided to play goalie. She may have though she was going to get a break, but the opposing team did not take it easy on her. She stopped between 20-25 shots and only let in 2. This is the same kid who a few years ago hid underneath my chair bawling her eyes out when her coach asked her to play in goal. She was a rockstar! Thanks to Coach Tim (who is the best and most entertaining part of any soccer game) for helping Emma to improve so dramatically this year.

The rest of this week brings 2 Celebrations of Success, 4 open trainings, soccer tryouts, and the last day of school. Here's to next week!

band kids

2011-06-08T11:10:00.004-04:00

Last night was the last band concert of the year, and the last of Emma's career. Next year she is going to choir route, and it's really hard to do both. That, and she doesn't want to be in marching band. Evan is going to continue on in seventh grade, and is considering making a switch to tuba (!)

It was 90+ degrees yesterday, so I was very glad to find they hadthe AC cranking in the cafeteria. My head had been pounding all day, and I don't think I could have sat there for both concerts if it had been hot. Both bands were very good-better than I expected. The songs were fun and you could tell the kids liked them.

I'm sad to see Emma's band days come to an end. She has a knack for music and it was the very first thing she did all by herself without any influence from us. Next year at this time I'll be posting about her solos in choir!

Great job, guys!

yummy and quick summer treat

2011-06-07T18:13:00.003-04:00

The last week has been so ridiculously hot, I haven't felt like drinking any hot bevvies. But a girl needs her caffeine (as evidenced by my ever present headache of late). I remembered I made these yummy little frap knock-offs while I was in Florida. Very good, very cheap, and you can have it NOW!

All you need is :

a blender

milk

Starbux Via

flavoring or sugar

ice

For Christmas I got this wonderful Cuisinart compact blender, and we use it for everything. It's perfect for making a quick smoothie. Or whipped cream. Or pesto. Today we are making a frappachifaux.

Fill blender with as much ice as you'd like. Add one Via packet. I have the Tribute blend. Also really enjoy the caramel ones. Add in milk (I use skim) and a small splash of flavored cream, to make it sweet and smooth. Sometimes I add in a flavored syrup instead of the cream. Use what you have on hand.

Blend for 20 seconds or until ice is all crushed.

Viola! You now have a delicious, inexpensive, chilly beverage you can enjoy without too much guilt. And then I don't feel so bad when I spend nearly $5 for one at the coffee shop!

5 good things- May 2011

2011-05-31T17:37:00.003-04:00

I can't believe a whole month has gone by since I started focusing on the good things! It's been hard; if you would have asked me a week ago I would have been hard pressed to come up with more than 2 things. The weather has been atrocious...we are on record as the third wettest spring ever. April showers brought May showers, in this case. And we've gone directly into hot hot summer. So I'd like to add air conditioning as one of my good things!

Here we go!

1. Bridesmaids movie. I went to see this with my sister-in-law last weekend (a treat in itself!) and it was over the top hilarious. We laughed a thousand times. Usually after you've seen the previews a million times, most of the jokes are used and there is nothing new to laugh at. But this movie was just so funny. I highly recommend it!

2. The start of the soccer season (finally)! We have been rained out of more games and practices this season, but the first game was good. Emma's team is playing Rec., and she not only volunteered to play goalie for the first half, she scored a goal in the second! It was awesome.
3. Spending the day with a good friend, times 2! My BFF Lisa & I try to get together once a month to catch up and just hang out. Sometimes a month has too much packed into it, and we miss each other. Not this month. We went to Barson's, one of my favorite nurseries, for the first plants of the season. And we went to Koji for sushi. We ordered way too much food but it was all so delicious. I love to spend as much time as I can with Lisa.

I also reconnected with another old friend, Julie, whom I have not seen in somewhere close to 10 years. The funny thing is that we 'chat' all the time on Facebook, so it doesn't seem like we have been apart. You know how sometimes when you haven't seen someone it's awkward and you have very little conversation to fill the space? We didn't. We had lunch and walked around downtown Northville, and chatted some more over coffee. It was a terrific afternoon, and we left promising to see each other again soon.
4. Downtown flower market in Northville. I haven't been hitting the farmer's market with the same regularity that I have in previous years...it's just been too wet. So instead, I waited until flower market weekend. Bart had the day off, and we filled the car with annuals and perennials...only a few of which I have planted. This week, it's my goal to get them all in the ground or in pots.
5. A fresh pedicure. The last one I got was in Florida, so my feet were really rough and in need of some TLC. I took Em with me. I got a french pedi, and she got blue nails with flowers, and a french manicure. Her choir concert is this week, and she's graduating 8th grade, so we splurged a little.
6. These two finally came home! I don't like it when they are gone so long. They're already talking about their next trip and I have my hands over my ears singing "Lalalalalalalala".

So goodbye, May. I hope that June is a beautiful month full of good things!

FO-Boysenberry YO socks

2011-05-23T22:06:00.003-04:00

These socks were one of the two patterns from Cookie's sock club for April. It was a very easy to memorize lace pattern, so it took no time to whip up this pair.

The yarn is a special new yarn from Lorna's Laces not available to the public yet. Another perk of Cookie's fabulous club!

I'm very pleased with the way these socks turned out :)

years11months

2011-05-12T12:02:00.000-04:00

Yesterday while Max was over I realized that right now, he and Evan are the same 'age'.

Evan is 11 years old, and Max is 11 months old.

It's a huge difference, I know. But not that long ago (really, I swear it wasn't), Evan was only 11 months old. He was starting to walk, and getting into everything. Climbing on my lap while I ate lunch, trying to steal bites of my food. Loving cars and balloons and big wet zerberts on his thighs. And while I'm very glad that I don't have a baby and have to deal with all the accoutrement of babyhood, I sure am glad I get to experience Max in his. It makes me a little less frustrated with the burgeoning teen boy, remembering what a sweet and loving baby he was. The sweet and loving boy he can be when he wants to.

Boys. Gotta love 'em.

8 in 72

2011-04-29T15:10:00.002-04:00

The sun is shining! The sun is shining!

It's a good thing because we have 8 soccer games in the next 72 hours.

8 games. Crazy.

We should have only had 4, because Emma's team isn't playing in this tournament, but then a call was put out for girls her age to fill in on other teams.

4 games turns into 8 games.

Half of her team in playing the other half in our first game tonight. Funny how that worked out.

The bigger challenge will be staying mud free, as all of the fields are swampy from the non-stop rain.

The forecast is for pretty nice weather. I hope so.

FO-Baktus

2011-04-28T16:56:00.004-04:00

One of my recent projects was this Baktus that I made for my friend Carolyn. She is my soccer car pool buddy, and while I was going through radiation treatments , she picked up a lot of slack for me. She also brought us dinner one night, and in general is a good listener. A true friend. True friends deserve handknits!

This is probably the easiest pattern in the world. You just knit and knit and knit. Add increases and decreases. Voila, you have a very cute little scarf! I loved the way this one worked up. I orginally started in some cotton based sock yarn and I hated the way the colors pooled. I ended up frogging the entire thing. This yarn is Mini Mochi, color 108. I bought some in a different colorway to make one for myself as well. It's just adorable.

My daughter has royal wedding fever and plans to wake up before 6:00 to see Kate's dress. I, for one, will catch it later at a more reasonable hour. Happy Thursday everyone!

five good things- April

2011-04-27T19:22:00.004-04:00

I usually love the month of April. Spring break, my birthday, warmer weather...what's not to love? This year it's been wetter than average. Colder than average. Gloomier than average. Overall, it's sucked. I haven't blogged because I feel so negative all the time. If I hadn't had a getaway for my mandatory rest & recuperation, I think I'd be losing my mind right now. (note to self: book vacation next year for spring break!)

So I decided that I am going to focus on GOOD THINGS today, and put the rest of it on the back burner. Because I can.

Good Thing #1:

Cookie A's sock club. I have made 2 pair of socks this month, and one of her cookie recipes. I love her patterns. I love the yarn she chooses. I love everything about the club.

Good Thing #2

Max time! I've started watching my nephew once a week. I forgot how nice it is to have a little one around. I also forgot how tiring it is...good thing I have built in helpers :) I love to watch Emma and Max together. He follows her every move, and she is just enamored of him.

Good Thing #3

Koji Japanese Restaurant. We went there for my birthday dinner to have sushi. It was awesome. The only thing that would have made it better was if we could have watched them make the sushi. It was reasonably priced and fresh as can be. I will be returning often!

Good Thing #4

playing with the Celtics in Indianapolis. Taking Emma & 2 friends by myself was an interesting experience. They had a great time, girl time. We shopped at a SuperTarget (awesome!), I got to eat at places we don't have nearby, and of course there was plenty of soccer. The team went to the finals and lost 1-0, but each girl got a trophy to take home. Many awesome memories.

Good Thing #5

my iPhone. The love affair is still going strong. I love this silly thing. I carry it around in my hand all the time. I play games. I listen to music. I shop for apps. Do I ever shop for apps. I love it. I knew I would, but I thought that by now some of the newness would have faded. Nope.

Later, April. I may not remember you fondly, but at least we had these 5 good things!

FO-Ripple Leaf socks

2011-04-13T19:04:00.007-04:00

I've been on a major spring cleaning tear the last few days. I have washed the windows inside & out, washed the screens, washed the kitchen floor, switched out the flannel sheets, and picked up a trash cans worth of dead plant material out of the garden. I even cleaned the gunk out of the pond filter. We have 4 toads already. Before long they will fill the pond with their strings of eggs.

Of course, it's just the tip of the iceberg; there is something to clean in every room. We want to paint the laundry room. Maybe our room too. I have a huge stack of items to price for a garage sale, date undetermined. I feel the need to purge and simplify. It's one thing I can control.

I have been knitting lots of socks lately! Last month I created my last item for the Baby Gardner. It was just too hard to balance knitting what I wanted to knit with what she needed me to knit. It also kept me from building up an inventory of things to sell in my etsy shop (which I'm not going to link because there isn't anything in it anyway!).

At the beginning of the year I joined a sock club, and not just any sock club, but one by the awesome sock designer Cookie A. It was my "I had cancer but I survived the treatments" prize to myself. Every other month we get one skein of fabulous yarn, 2 patterns, and 2 cookie recipes. This is one of the patterns.

This is made with Sundara sock in Raspberry. And because I am such an awesome friend, I made these for my BFF Heather. They fit, she loves me, end of story :)

ps. My left foot is not pointier than my right foot. I don't know why it looks like it is. Must be an optical illusion.

Maybe I'll blog again tomorrow with another pair!

Yeegads it's April already

2011-04-07T14:51:00.003-04:00

Poor, neglected blog. It's not that I haven't meant to check in once in awhile with you, I just haven't had a lot to say. The weather has been crappy, the skies gloomy. It's hard to get excited about spring when it's dreary and gray everyday. Every day. I have had three massive headaches this week, rendering me about as interesting as buttered toast. But the sun is shining for 5 minutes and the weather report shows a day in our near future with the number 7 in the lead off position. Hells, yeah!

This week I started the couch to 5K program. I tried to find a link to iTunes but can't. Oh well. The gist of the program is that you can go from couch to running a 5K in 9 weeks. I intended to start Monday, but these damned headaches have gotten in the way of everything this week. I did my 30 minutes on Tuesday and fully intended to do workout #2 yesterday but... (insert headache here). So the good news is that I didn't die after the first workout. My calves burned like a mother, but I didn't die. And I didn't quit. I'm going to do workout #2 in just a little bit. Before you know it, I will be running. Shut the front door, I said RUNNING! Go me.

Aren't my new shoes full of the awesome?

Tomorrow I am driving Emma & 2 friends to Indianapolis for a soccer tournament. They are guest playing for the Canton Celtics, and since we don't have any tourneys lined up, we thought it would be a fun experience for them. Girls road trip! I should have my head examined :)

One month check up

2011-03-21T15:48:00.003-04:00

I had a follow up appointment with my radiation oncologist today and everything looks good! My skin is almost totally healed with only the slighest bit of pink. It healed much quicker than I thought it would. I'm very pleased with it!

Next week I see the medical oncologist to begin my regimen of Tamoxifen. I will have to continue to see someone every 6 months for the next few years, but other than that, cancer should be a memory and nothing more!

R&R

2011-03-16T19:21:00.002-04:00

I have just spent the most relaxing, wonderful 7 days in recent memory.

Let me tell you, if you are unlucky enough to get cancer, you want to be married to a guy like Bart. Since my first mammography, he has been 100% supportive and generous. With tender, caring words and quiet actions, he has been my rock through and through. I don't think I would have handled the whole ordeal nearly as well without him by my side. He's been patient with my tiredness and constantly reminding me to take better care of myself.

Just when I thought he couldn't be any more wonderful, he sends me to Florida for 7 days of mandatory rest and relaxation. I didn't know that I needed to rest any more after taking it easy for 8 weeks, but I did! 7 days of only focusing on myself; of not thinking every minute about who needs what/needs to go where. Of not planning meals. Of not catering to the dogs. Of not tending the homestead. It's been heaven. Our last vacation with the kids was not relaxing: this was just the opposite. I didn't have to keep anyone entertained. I didn't have to keep track of their whereabouts. I didn't have to listen to "I'm bored" even once.

I have to say thanks also to my Dad & Carol, who have catered to my every whim and made this vacation possible. I am so grateful for the time you've given me to get back to me.

I am one lucky girl.

A week post radiation

2011-03-06T18:43:00.003-05:00

It's been a busy few weeks around here. I've been meaning to post about life after radiation and just have been too tired to come up with words.

The first 2 days I didn't see any change. My skin was still scaly and red, tender and sensitive to the touch. When I woke up the third day, there was a big change. It looked like I had burned myself with a hot iron in the area where the boost was directed. Instantly everything made it hurt. I slathered lotions and ointments on it in an effort to stave off the irritation. Sleeping was difficult, as every time I flipped over, the skin under my arm pulled and stung.

By day 5 it was very scaly and hurt when I raised my arm. It just pulled the skin tight. I'd forget until I'd go to reach for something and feel the pull. But it passed within 2 days.

I started to peel, so I just keep moisturizing. The biggest spot of alligator skin has now turned into baby pink skin, tender and new.

I still have a lot of peeling to do, and fading of the brown pigment, but I think the worst of it has passed. All in all, it wasn't horrible...it was like a really bad sunburn. Uncomfortable and rough at first but tolerable.

And I got the best surprise from Bart. He booked me a flight to Florida for some mandatory R&R with my Dad & Stepmom at their condo on the beach. I leave Early Wednesday morning and I get to stay for a whole week. I am one lucky girl. Of course I'm going to have to keep my burned skin out of the sun, but there's plenty of me not burned that could use a little warm sunshine. It's going to be so awesome.

2 more days!

2011-02-22T18:19:00.003-05:00

In two days I will be finished with radiation. I am beyond excited!

I won't miss driving to the Cancer Center daily for treatment. I won't miss wearing the stiff hospital gown. I won't miss the blue marker on my clothes.

I had my last visit with the doctor yesterday and got my discharge papers. She also gave me a prescription for a healing cream, and warned that my skin will become worse before it becomes better. The effects of the boost haven't even taken their toll yet, and already I have some blistering and very sort spots. My armpit especially...It hurts like an SOB. Hopefully the cream will help ease it.

In other news, Winter decided to return with a vengance on Sunday night. After enjoying 50 degrees and sunshine last week, it hardly seems fair to get 12" of newfallen snow. It was coming down fast and furious, and we were out in it. Cars were off the roads and getting stuck going up the smallest of inclines. I've never seen anything like it. My little Pepper just motors right through! I love AWD. School was out Monday for mid-winter break, and I was surprised to wake up this morning and find the kids still in bed! The roads were so bad, still. I guess the severity of the storm caught everyone off guard.

I toook the above photo with my iPhone, using the camera bag app. This filter is called 'silver'. I am having lots of fun playing with it :)

5 day boost

2011-02-18T15:42:00.002-05:00

Today marked 5 days of treatment left and what the oncologists call 'the boost'. They are no longer treating the whole breast, but focusing on the incision site. The treatment is shorter, but more intense. And I'm having a lot of pain and discomfort, so I guess it's working!

As prep for the boost, the doc drew all over my breast with blue magic marker. It's rubbing off on my clothes and skin, so I look faintly blue on my whole right side. So pretty! And that's on top of the alligator skin. I can't wait to be done. I can't wait to wash off all of the marker.

4more.

20:30

2011-02-11T09:12:00.003-05:00

Yesterday marked my 20th radiation treatment. I am officially 2/3 of the way done! In December, that seemed like such a long time, but it's passed very quickly.

In general, I feel pretty good. But I am tired. I am so tired. By 5 or 6pm I am very unfocused and have a hard time doing much of anything.

I've tried napping in the afternoon, but that hasn't been working. There's always a dog barking, or the phone rings, or a kid runs down the hall like a herd of elephants (seriously. Must you run so hard?) Saturday I slept for almost 3 hours, and Sunday for 2. It was much needed.

My skin is looking pretty bad, like I took a cheese grater to it. Very red and rashy. I have lesions. The breast itself hurt most of the time. My biggest fear is that being fair skinned, that all the redness will not go away after treatment. Or that every time I'm in the sun I will burn easily.

But then I remember the 100% cure rate and I try not to worry.

10 more to go!

mine!

2011-02-03T09:31:00.001-05:00

Oh yes my pretty. In a few long days you will arrive on my doorstep. I can't wait!

Hello, February!

2011-02-02T11:05:00.002-05:00

Today was supposed to have been treatment 15...half way through. Instead, today is a snow day. A day to spend in the house and contemplating the end of winter, which feels like a million years away.

Snowmagedden? Not so much. We got about 5 inches, doubling what we had. No 'storm of the century' snowfall. I feel cheated.

Unexpected gifts

2011-01-28T17:32:00.002-05:00

They say it is better to give than to receive, and I wholeheartedly agree. Last week was a good mail week for me; I got three gifts, completely unexpected. I still feel very special thinking about them!

The first gift came from an old high school friend of mine named Cindi. I haven't seen her in over 25 years, but comment almost daily on her Facebook page. She sent me this adorable boxing glove, as a reminder to kick cancer's ass. I love it. Totally love it. I wear it every day and smile when I look down and see it there on my shirt. It's awesome.

The second gift was from my favorite blogger friend Jen. She sent me a delicious box of Gearhart's chocolates (which I am not sharing with anyone thankyouverymuch), a pound of my favorite coffee, and her favorite accessory: Wilma beads. That's right...we're bringing Flintstone style back. I giggled like crazy. I wore them the other day...they are heavy on my neck but in the good kind of way. I touched them a lot. (all of this makes Bart crazy, because several years ago he bought me a nice set of real pearls. I have never worn them.)

The third gift came from my Aunt Cindy. It's a painting she did of Evan & Lola in Temagami this summer. The image is from a favorite memory of hers during our visit, with the kids laying on the floor playing cards and Lola curled up on Evan's rear. She perfectly captured the glint in Lola's eye, the way she sticks her leg off to the side. Evan's hair and legs...amazing. I will always treasure this perfect capture.

Thanks friends, for making me feel extra special and loved!

what a difference a year makes

2011-01-26T12:52:00.005-05:00

Yesterday Emma had an ortho appointment, and it got me to thinking about how it's been a year since she got her braces. So I wanted to take a quick pic of her to compare and contrast so that I could see the changes. So she could see the changes.

Holy crap! My baby doesn't look like this anymore:

This is what she looks like!

Much longer hair, badly in need of a haircut. I couldn't talk her into the cute cut she had a year ago. Her face is leaner. She looks more mature. And her teeth have really come a long way.

Yesterday they added a 'power chain', a thicker wire, and rubber bands. She was not happy in the least. I expect that she is going to be drinking a lot of meals in the next few days.

I was just surprised to see such a difference in her, since I look at her every day and don't see it, not like that. Wow.

My baby is becoming a woman!

week one, done!

2011-01-20T16:31:00.002-05:00

Today marks one week since I began radiation therapy.

The treatments are going well...they take hardly any time at all (that is, unless they want to do a bunch of films. Why they need to take so many films is beyond me. I'm sure by the time I'm finished there will be a whole drawer of stuff just about me) and the biggest part of my time is spent driving to and from the cancer center.

My techs are really nice and always greet me with big smiles.

The radiation itself is completely painless. I am starting to experience some of the side effects. My skin looks like it has a slight sunburn and feels a bit tight. I've also had some hard-to-describe pain. It could be from the internal healing and scar tissue. It could be from my monthly cycle. It could be from the radiation. I know that no matter what I do and how careful I am, some of it is to be expected. After all, I have to wear my breasts all day. They are going to bump into things and whatnot. I have to learn to not flop over at night. That's my worst habit.

So, only 5 more weeks to go!

Getting radiation is just like going to the tanning booth

2011-01-13T18:15:00.002-05:00

Except I am laying on my stomach in a weird position

and I didn't put on any suntan lotion

and my arms are numb from holding them over my head

and I'm not wearing funny goggles

and there isn't a fan blowing warm air over me

and my skin isn't golden brown.

Turns out radiation is nothing like going to the tanning booth.

1 down, 29 to go.

FO-Hats aplenty!

2011-01-12T18:07:00.003-05:00

Like most people, I don't have enough to do right before the holidays, so I thought it would be a great idea to knit a bunch of hats! Hats are a great thing to make because they are usually quick and easy, use little yarn, and everyone I know needs one (at least)!

I didn't include any links. Too lazy. If you really are dying to know what the pattern or yarn is, email and I will answer for you.

I made this for Emma knowing that she was getting a navy blue coat for Christmas. The blue isn't really navy, but it's cute and she likes it. She wore it non-stop during the break.

She's cute, no?

This is a slouchy alpaca beret I made for my SIL Tracey. It's superduper soft and a nice heather grey, something I thought would match with anything.

I made this Christmas hat for my nephew Max. I didn't take a pic with the huge pom on the end, nor did I get a pic of him wearing it. He looks ridiculously adorable in it.

This one I knit for my SIL Shannon (shhh...I haven't given it to her yet). It is very thicky and stretchy and cozy. Perfect for Canada winters,

And this one I made for Jen, my blogger bud, for running. She was bemoaning her lack of running gear that was warm, So I whipped up this lil cutie and stitched in a fleece liner.

That about covers it! Ha covers it! I kill me!

A Florida Christmas

2011-01-10T16:45:00.006-05:00

I didn't mean to go this long without blogging about our trip to Florida pre-Christmas...time just got away from me! (And I hadn't gone through iPhoto and deleted the photos I didn't need so I had no idea really what I had in there.)

Travelling during the holidays was really great. It forced me to be organized and get everything done before we stepped foot into the airport. Good. It did feel weird to not have any last minute shopping to do, and it was annoying that everyone else did! No strolling thru our favorite malls just for fun...they were crowded!

At the terminal super early. Like 90 minutes early. We expected long security lines but were through in less than 10 minutes. Instead we shopped and ate at a Coney Island. Lots of good stores in the new terminal. They even have a pet store!

The entire family and their electronic devices. Ahhh, technology!

We arrived at the apartment a little after midnight. Dad & Carol had decorated for us with a small tree and our stockings! It was a really great surprise. Made it feel Christmasy.

Sunsets are hard to catch from the apartment...this was our first night. The whole day had been crummy; cold, breezy, no sun at all.

We went out to dinner for our 17th anniversary on Saturday night. This night also began Evan's reign of terror for the remainder of the vacation. 11 year olds are not fit human company.

Think it was a little windy? Check out the waves!

The kids & Bart also took turns riding in my dad's ocean kayak. Evan got flipped coming back over the surf and the kayak crashed into his head and back. Needless to say he didn't ride it again. He also didn't come out of the apartment for 24 hours.

Emma & I went down to the beach several times a day. The water was cold but we still went in. The third day at low tide the pools started to form. I love when it does that. The shelling is great and the water trickling past looks like spun gold. Very cool.

We spent one evening driving around looking at Christmas displays, mostly in Las Olas. It's really hard to photograph them at night, in a moving car without them being totally blurry. These were a few of my favorites.

Sharing a big bowl of mussels at Southport Raw Bar. Emma won't touch them, but Evan can eat an entire order by himself.

The very first year we took both kids, I got a shot of them at this railing. We try to re-create it. but both would have nothing to do with it. I just love this age.

Hello fattie!

All in all, it was a very nice vacation. We had more sun than clouds. We ate good food. We relaxed. We swam. We body surfed. We got sand in unmentionable places. And then we got to come home and celebrate Christmas!

Let the radiation begin!

2011-01-03T18:03:00.002-05:00

Today was radiation oncologist day.

The results were as expected...6 weeks of radiation 5 days a week, followed by 5 years of Tamoxifen. I've heard nothing but good things about the treatment, so I am optimistic that it will go smoothly and the side effects will be minimal.

By the way, I loved the radiation oncologist. I wish I had seen her first. She sat directly in front of me and talked to me in a level tone never taking her eyes off me. She explained things in very simple to understand terms. She answered any questions I had before I had time to form them. I just got a good 'vibe' from her.

Tomorrow I return for a baseline mammogram. They check for any calcification remnants (which is the thing that tipped off the radiologist...calcification occurs naturally in your body as a result of cell death, but when it shows up in the breast it can mean that there is rapid growth of other cells. Bad cells. I learned something today!) so they will know what the post-surgery tissue looks like. Then on Thursday I go in for a full body CT scan. This is to measure every part of my body and to mark where the radiation will occur. She'll give me 2 'tattoos' to mark the spots. Hopefully a week later I can begin the radiation.

The one part of this whole ordeal that really sucks is that I have to have my miracle IUD removed. IUD risk of blood clots + Tamoxifen risk of blood clots= too much risk. I am bummed out beyond belief. I had more than 4 years left on it, and we payed for it out of pocket. and did I mention it was a miracle worker? My next option is hysterectomy. Grr. Not ready or wanting to deal with that now. One step at a time.

That's all for now!

Leaving on a jet plane...

2010-12-17T15:55:00.002-05:00

...but I will return on December 23rd.

So excited to just relax now that all of the Christmas shopping, wrapping, gathering, carding, & baking are done. For the next five days I plan to just enjoy the plentiful sunshine.

It's gonna be awesome!

Bunco GNO

2010-12-12T16:18:00.002-05:00

Friday was an awesome day.

After spending the afternoon hanging out with my high school BFF Lisa

(we power shopped and went to see Black Swan-so awesome!),

I met 4 of my Bunco friends for dinner at On the Border.

Unfortunately, 3 members of our group couldn't make it, but we had a great time all the same. We got there early enough to enjoy happy hour (yeah Maragritas!) and had a few hours of laughs and conversation.

Judy & I wearing our crowns. Aren't we divine?

Kirstie, Brenda & Karen

Judy loves to dangle things from her glasses :)

Kirstie, Brenda & Karen again

The whole lot of us.

Kirstie brought Christmas crackers for everyone; only Brenda & I knew what they were. They are an Brittish tradition (Kirstie's Brittish), so it was really fun to share it with all of us. At least 4 people asked us what we were celebrating and where did we get the crowns. We were the talk of the restaurant.

I had some big fun girls!

follow up

2010-12-10T09:33:00.003-05:00

Oncologist.

Kind of a scary word.

And I have to meet with two of them!

I will be meeting with the medical oncologist on December 29th

and the radiation oncologist on January 3rd.

There is no rush, and I have so many things to take care of before we leave for Florida next week. I didn't want one more thing thrown in the mix.

Now that I've had a few days to process the information, the diagnosis isn't so bad. There are far worse things to have happen than DCIS, and from everything I have read, almost totally curable. My gyn called the other day while I wasn't at home and spoke to Bart for a bit. She had the same diagnosis 15 years ago and has come out of it with no further problems.

So while the diagnosis is 'cancer', I don't really call it 'cancer'. That word gives it too much power. And I want to be the one with all the power.

Remember to get your mammograms!

Ductal Carcinoma in Situ

2010-12-06T15:00:00.000-05:00

Well, the news isn't what I'd hoped for, but it's not worst-case scenario either.

In my right breast, I have DCIS, ductal carcinoma in situ. The earliest form of breast cancer. It's not life threatening, but can develop into cancer if left untreated.

From the Mayo Clinic: Ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) is considered the earliest form of breast cancer. In DCIS, abnormal cells multiply and form a growth within a milk duct of your breast. DCIS is noninvasive, meaning it hasn't spread out of the milk duct to invade other parts of the breast.

My type is classified as cribriform, or low grade. I can't tell from the report if my margins are good or not good enough.

I will meet with an oncologist, a radiologist & my surgeon to determine my course of treatment. It may be radiation. It may be tamoxifen. It may be more surgery, up to and including mastectomy. I will most likely need radiation on my left breast as well, although the phyllodes tumor and the DCIS are completely different diagnoses. It seems really weird to me that two completely different but distructive things are going on in my body at the same time.

I am a little freaked out. I mean, the news isn't good but not the worst either. Almost 100% of treated DCIS cases are cured. Good odds! I guess what's freaking me out is the constant thought in the back of my mind as to whether it will come back. I want to treat it and be done with it. I don't want it lingering around to torment me.

Onto the next round!

Hello, December v.10

2010-12-02T22:57:00.004-05:00

I know I say this every month, but seriously...how is it December already??

I think I am going to do a December daily album starting tomorrow. I have the main album ready to fill; I just need to take the time. I figured this would be a good year to commit to it as we have so much going on this month. It's exciting and a little daunting. I have to have all my Christmas stuff done before we leave on the 17th for Florida. I have made some headway, but nothing is done. The decorating, the cards, the shopping. The baking. Ack. Now I just want to crawl under the blankets until then!

I am feeling pretty good. No pain; the incisions are healing nicely and I have been resuming normal activity. Still haven't gotten the pathology reports, but I do see the doctor on Monday. I don't have time to be worried!

More tomorrow...

lumpectomy & biopsy

2010-11-28T16:28:00.002-05:00

My surgery was on Wednesday and wiped me out way more than I thought it would. I had the idea that I was going to be out of it the remainder of the day on Wednesday, then fine for the rest of the holiday weekend. This turned out to not be the case. I learned 2 very important lessons:

1) Vicodin is not my friend.

2) Your body needs more time to recover than you think it will.

The pre-surgery prep was standard. No less than 2 dozen people asking what you've come in for. Sign this form. Talk to this person. Change into a gown. Sign this form. And this one. Get your IV. Here's another form. A quick visit from the surgeon. Sign this form (I think in total I signed 16 things, and Bart signed several more for me. Crazy.)

I mentioned that I had to get some wires implanted to help guide the surgeon to where he needs to cut...ultrasounds are impractical while in surgery. This was by far the worst part. I started by getting a new mammogram on my right breast. While my breast was still clamped in the machine, I had to stand there for 5 to 10 minutes while the doctor inserted the wire. With a fishook on the end. While I'm clamped. It was awful. It felt like it was poking all the way through me.According to the doctor, the pain and difficulty were due to scar tissue from the previous biopsy. I really wasn't sure I was going to be able to take it. The left side was much easier. No mammogram, no clamping. He did it by ultrasound. The position of the tumor did not require the 'digging' that the right side did. Plus I think this doctor numbed it better. It was quicker and much less painful.

By now I just wanted to be done and on my way home. Ha.

I remember them wheeling me to the operating room, and skooching over onto the table, and that's it. I woke up in recovery feeling really tired and with a dull pain in my chest. About an hour later I got to go home. I wasn't feeling too bad, but I slept for hours and hours. Bart would wake me every 4 to take vicodin and make me drink water. I tried to get up and watch some tv and eat a little something at 8pm, but I just ended up throwing up and going back to bed.

Thursday morning was more of the same, except now I had a headcahe and backache to contend with as well. My sinuses were killing me, so I took some sinus medication in the hopes that it would releive some of the pressure in my head. I've had enough headaches and taken enough medication to know that part of the problem was 'rebound'. I stopped taking the Vicodin and switched to Tylenol. And more sleep. More water.

We went to my dad's house for Thanksgiving dinner, but I ended up sleeping almost the entire time. I was able to eat and keep down a tiny bit of mashed potatoes and turkey. The more time that passed, the less sick I felt...just tired. After sleeping 36 hours it seems ridiculous to be so tired! I still feel the tired, but am awake much more. My back and legs were cramping up from too much laying down, so I make sure to get up and walk around all the time. My chest aches a bit, but Aleve takes most of the pain away. I need to start taking it before bed though...the last 2 nights I've gotten up in the middle of the night after flopping over onto my stomach to sleep. My breastbone hurts from the mammography machine.

The incisions are looking pretty good. No stitches, no staples...I am held together by glue, of all things! I finally got the Sharpie off my right side. I will wear a bra 24/7 until the glue is gone and the ache stops. I will visit the doctor in a week. I will wait patiently for the pathology reports and a clean bill of health.

Thanks to all of my friends and family for their kind words of support and love. It does make the entire process so much easier. Thanks for lifting me up when I've been feeling down.

tomorrow's the day

2010-11-23T17:36:00.002-05:00

My surgery is tomorrow morning at 11:30. Ugh.

The worst part is fasting before surgery. No food or drink after midnight. I wish it was going to be earlier for that part alone!

I will be going in early to get some wires inserted into the incision spots. I don't know how this helps the doctor, but it does. And then I'll put some big 'X's' on them with Sharpie, just to be sure. Wouldn't want someone to take out my spleen while I was under. You never know.

Thanks for all the kind words and well wishes! They are greatly appreciated :)

suck it, cancer!

2010-11-18T12:03:00.004-05:00

This has been one hell of a week.

Last Thursday night I got a call from the surgeon telling me that they found somethng on my MRI, and he would like me to come into the mammography center on Monday to do another ultrasound and possible needle biopsy.

What I did not fully realize until I was there was that they were now discussing my left breast.

I had the ultrasound & needle biospy at 11:00 on Monday. 3:00 the pre-surgical screener called me to set up my surgery time. 3:30 the surgery was cancelled by the surgical coodinator. The doctor now wants to see me in his office on Thursday morning to discuss the findings. In the span of the 3 minute phone conversation, she called me 'honey' and 'sweetie' 5 times. And come to think of it, the pathologist and tech both wished me luck and touched me before they left the room.

Those were the longest 72 hours ever.

The good news is, I don't have cancer. Not today anyway. I have what is called a phyllodes tumor. It's rare. It's the same tumor that was removed in 2003. They are aggressive and resilient.

Here is a little more information on them:

Phyllodes tumors account for less than 1% of all breast cancers. Even though the tumor may be benign, it is still considered a type of breast cancer, because it has the potential to become malignant.

Phyllodes tumors are not all cancerous. Many will be classified as benign and not require further evaluation. A skilled pathologist is needed to distinguish a benign phyllodes tumor from one with more aggressive malignant potential. In any event, women who undergo surgery for removal of a phyllodes tumor require close surveillance with followup mammogram and physical examination at regular intervals. Malignant phyllodes tumors are best managed with a wide excision of normal breast tissue around the tumor to obtain clean margins. In most cases, radiation therapy is not required. Very large malignant phyllodes tumors may require complete removal of the breast for management.

The less than good news is that now I have to have bilateral surgery. The atypia cell mass on the right and the phyllodes on the left. They will do a wide excision, which after having done once will leave me with very little breast on the left. I can live with that. They will test the cells and hopefully not come back with any malignant ones.

I'm having the surgery the day before Thanksgiving. It was either that or wait until the middle of December. We're going to Florida for some of the holiday break, so I didn't want to put it so close to the travel time.

In short, I am very relieved. I won't feel totally safe until after the surgery and I get the all clear from the doctor. But I am optimistic that it will turn out ok.

BTW, the phyllodes was only detected by the MRI. Not the mammogram.

Back to Square One

2010-11-14T18:01:00.002-05:00

I found out late Thursday night that the MRI revealed another spot.

I'll be going in tomorrow morning for another ultrasound and perhaps a needle biopsy.

As of now, my surgery is still on, but depending on what they find tomorrow it might be cancelled.

celebrating eleven!

2010-11-14T13:59:00.004-05:00

This kid turned 11 a few days ago. He's pretty much been doing this since.

His big gift from us this year: his own cell phone. Heaven help us. The kid loves to be on the phone. He loves to hold it in his hand. He loves to open and close it. He loves to text. We are very glad for unlimited texting.

We had the family over to celebrate last night after his first indoor game (they won!)

This cake might not look that impressive, but don't let my frosting skillz fool you. This is truly the best chocolate cake you'll ever eat. I've made it twice now, and it's received rave reviews both times. Gather ingedients and make it immediately. You won't be sorry.

I only had 10 candles, so we used this tall one in the center. It was blazing away right after I snapped this picture. I thought we were going to have cake flambe.

Lola was very into Max, especially when we pulled out this squeaky giraffe. She kept leaning forward and trying to take it from him, ever so gently.

Max was waaaay over tired so this was the best shot of the three I could get.

He started getting silly and laughing/hiccupping at his Grammy, which made us all laugh.

Evan had a good day, and got pretty much everything he asked for.

Here's to hoping 11 will be better than 10!

MRI Recap

2010-11-09T17:40:00.002-05:00

That almost makes it sound like a vacation, right?

The MRI I had today went very smoothly, I'm glad to report.

My total time in the tube was 12 minutes (which seemed like 30) but wasn't nearly as 'confining' as I thought it would be. Having the scan done on a breast is totally different than on other body parts. For one, I was laying on my stomach. I was supported up on a ramp like device. There is a round pillow where you put your face, and your boobs dangle down. I'm sure it was super attractive! The most uncomfortable part was that the ramp hits you in the rib cage, so breathing was hard. And I may have been hyperventilating a bit. There is no moving air around your face or anything, so it got warm in my little pillow very quickly. By the time I was done, I was all sweaty and my hair was plastered to my face.

I also had to lay with my arms extended straight up, so my shoulders were achy and my arms were tingly. But the MRI itself wasn't painful. It wasn't even as loud as I thought it would be. I don't know how they get an accurate read of the breasts though, with as deeply as I was breathing!

Glad to have it done. One less thing to worry about.

Take it from me, GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM!

2010-11-08T12:04:00.002-05:00

I think it's safe to say that I dislike going to the Doctor more than the average person. And when I say dislike, I really mean loathe to my very core. But I made a promise in 2010 to take better care of myself and my health and the occasional doctor visit was part of the plan.

Without doctors, I don't get the meds which help my head stay in balance and I have terrible headaches that make life unbearable.

Without doctors, I wouldn't have gotten the miracle IUD that reduced my monthly flow to a reasonable level. *best thing I ever did, BTW. Highly recommended.

Without doctors, I wouldn't have discovered the lump in my breast.

Let me back track...

After the miracle IUD which took 4 visits to the GYN to become a reality, the last thing I wanted to do was go get a mammogram. So I didn't. I made excuse after excuse, and hoped that the passing of time would make everyone forget.

Bart didn't forget. He hounded me to make the appointment.

The doctor didn't forget, because I got bi-weekly automated reminder calls to make the appointment.

And Bart still didn't forget, going as far as to threaten to call the doctor himself. He's a pain in my ass sometimes. And because I didn't want him to call the doctor, I made the appointment.

Fast forward a week when I get a call from the hospital saying that they would really like it if I came back in for a re-scan because the tech saw something he couldn't identify.

Another few days later and another call; there is definitely something there and you need to make an appointment. My doctor calls with the number of the specialist she would like me to see.

Fast forward a few weeks and I meet with the specialist, who orders a needle biopsy. He is a very soft spoken, gentle Asian man. Kind. I like him. I've seen him before, in 2003, for a different lump.

The needle biopsy is uncomfortable at the least, but not terrible. The pathologist and tech are very nice. In fact, from the moment I got the first phone call, everyone is very nice and accommodating.

The call from the specialist comes quickly. No cancer, but atypia. Bad cells. Need to schedule for open biospy. One more appointment where he explains to me again that there is no cancer, but a mass of cells that need to come out. Different from before. Not urgent, but he wants to take it out.

He's ordered an MRI, the 'gold standard' in breast care. I have no family history, but my risk factors are high so I qualify.

And here we are.

Tomorrow I am having my MRI. I'm not nervous, but can't stop fidgeting when I think about it. I hope I can hold still long enough for the scan to be effective.

This weekend, I told my kids. I didn't want them to find out from someone else. I didn't want them to come home one day and not find me here, because I'm running late from a test.

Next week I am scheduled for the open biopsy. I'm not scared. I'm confidant that the doctor will remove all of the bad cells and not find anything else lurking in there.

I'm feeling very lucky.

Lucky it's not cancerous.

Lucky that I was approved for the MRI.

Lucky that I have so many people who support me.

Lucky that the tech took a closer look at the first mammogram.

Lucky that my husband didn't forget and nagged me to get the mammogram that started it all.

Let me be a lesson to everyone! Get your mammogram!

Self exams don't find everything.

Doctor exams don't find everything.

You don't have to have a family history to get breast cancer.

One benign lump is flukey. Two is a pattern. I will surely have to get mammograms every 6 months for the rest of my life. And I will consider myself lucky every time.

Listen up, November

2010-11-05T04:33:00.002-04:00

I know it can't be easy to follow up an October like we just had. Truly the best October I can ever remember.

But it's like you're not even trying.

5 days in and I have seen nothing but gloomy skies and dreary days.

And what's this talk of snow showers possible tomorrow?

Not acceptable.

I was not pre-disposed to hate you; after all, you bring the end of soccer season and the beginning of the end for Harry Potter. Some of my favorite people celebrate birthdays during your 30 days.

So shape up.

You've been warned.

Happy Halloween! v.10

2010-10-31T22:25:00.002-04:00

Happy Halloween!

Another fun year of trick or treating in the AP with Greg & Tracey...and little Max too!

Evan the bull rider. He dressed as a hippie at school on Friday, but I love this costume.

Angel and devil. Seriously, she ate 2 pairs of devil horns.

Max looking good in his skeleton suit :)

Max, Greg & Emma

Looking very angelic...

Max did not want to sit on the Great Pumpkin. Poor Binkster.

Bart came out of the house dressed to kill. Literally.

Time to re-fuel with a little True Blood!

Emma didn't trick or treat...she was all about walking around with Lola. They were going to dress the same, but Lola really did eat 2 pair of devil horns, so at the last minute Em pulled together the angel costume. They were very cute. I still can't believe she didn't get one piece of candy. I take that back...she ate from Aunt Tracey's bucket but didn't get any of her own. Brat. That means I don't get to raid her stash.

Good thing Evan had a large bag.

Impromptu beach visit!

2010-10-14T15:53:00.005-04:00

Emma's team had a game this past Sunday in Grand Haven, which is a three hour drive from our house. Which, any way your look at it, is an all day trip, basically. Her teammate Kayla rode with us. It was the most gorgeous October day ever; just below 70 degrees, sunny and crisp. Outstanding. We got to the fields with 50 minutes to spare, so we drove off in search of the beach, knowing that it was nearby by not wanting to venture too far away.

Less than a mile from the fields we found a sign announcing Rosy Mound Nature Center and decided to give it a try. No water was visible, but there was a sign saying 'No Lifeguard on Duty'. Bingo!

Nowhere on any of the trail markers did it indicate that the trek to the beach was around 3/4 mile, Nor did it mention that it was up and down flights of stairs over dunes! The girls ran ahead while I did my best to keep up with them. I failed miserably. I was huffing and puffing and moving by sheer will to see the Lake.

The water wasn't nearly as cold as I thought it would be in October. The sand was gloriously warm, and the waves were quietly lapping the beach. There were tons of boats on the Lake and many people enjoying the beach. I wanted to stay all day. In hindsight, we would have left 2 hours earlier so we could just hang out there.

Emma had no problem running right into the water, even though her shorts were getting all wet. I was sort of surprised that she didn't jump all the way in!

The harsh reality was that we could only stay 10 minutes because the trek back was so long. They ran ahead of me and I just kept climbing. I would have given anything to just be able to sit for a bit and rest, but the clock was ticking and they had to be on the field in 15 minutes. I didn't account for how hard the trip back would be, but I didn't stop. Not once.
They played at the most beautiful high school complex I have ever seen. The field was huge. They have their own soccer stadium with bleachers. Seriously.

We were massacred. Of course I felt we should stay at the beach but did the responsible thing by bringing them to the game. After, they both wanted to go back but there was no way I'd have been able to do that climb again. And we still had a 3 hour drive home to deal with.

It was totally worth the drive.

FO-Jen's Switcheroo switcheroo socks

2010-10-06T17:46:00.004-04:00

I finished these in August and completely forgot to share them!

My friend Jen was looking for a little motivation to run in Central Park in a tutu. I promised her that I would knit her a pair of socks if she did. And did she ever!

So this pattern was called 'switcheroo socks', but for me they ended up being a double switcheroo. In knitting, you read the pattern from right to left, and I was 75% of the way finished with the first sock before I realized that I was reading the pattern backwards. Yes, I am a rocket scientist, why do you ask? I also catch on quick!

They have a fun heel pattern that I've never attempted before, and the lace pattern was very easy to handle.

My favorite thing about this pair is that I hand dyed the yarn, and I think it came out very pretty. Very fall, with a few bright bits of green, just like in nature.

I hope she enjoys them now that it's cool enough to wear them :) I know she has some awesome shoes that will show them off!

Hello, October

2010-10-03T11:27:00.002-04:00

October, you are my favorite month of the year.

I love your cooler temps, your Pumpkin Spice Lattes, your cider mills.

Your Saturday football, your crisp nights, your spectacular show of color.

I would, however, like you to stay around a little longer than 3 days. We're barely into the month and already it's cold.

Let's return to the beautiful weather of last week!

Em, Ev & Max last weekend :)

Tournament weekend two

2010-10-01T05:59:00.002-04:00

I haven't had time to blog about the second tournament weekend in September. Here's a little bit about it!

This tournament was for Evan's team, in Dublin Ohio. It's a pretty nice tourney, and not too far. It has the added bonus of being in Ohio, which means I cen generally talk my BFF Heather into visiting me. The weather was really nice; mid 70's to 80's while at home was raining and miserable. Not too shabby.

Our games were at the crack of dawn. The fields were barely light when we got to them.

The first game was against the best team on our playlist. And they were good. Took an early lead and continued to school us for 30 minutes. Then we rallied. We tied it up. We went ahead. They tied it up. In the end, they beat us by one goal, and that cemented our place in the tourney...no place. We automatically wouldn't go to the finals after losing to this team, which just sucks. To travel all that way and to know by 9:00 on the first day that you are done, well that just makes for a really long weekend.

Evan played goal during the second half and made some amazing saves. He just needed his defense to be strong and they got a little too confidant. It happens.
They went on to lose the second game after lunch. Losing is weird for Evan's team...they don't do it often. Losing twice on the same day is just...weird.
Here's the birthday girl on the morning of her big day. Between games she opened gifts (we totally had her fooled that we didn't bring any), with her major gift being a laptop of her own. She's tickled pink and totally loves it.

Heather came after the second game, and we girls headed over to the mall across the street from the hotel. I had only slept 1 hour and 20 minutes the night before, so I was beginning to get supertired. We got Starbux and wandered around. Em didn't want to go into any stores...she may be the only teenager who won't shop when offered carte blanche...until we found a doggie boutique. She was all over that. We ended up with a new collar for Lola and a Halloween costume to debut later. But it's Awesome, trust me.

Went to Graeter's for ice cream, Noodles & Company for dinner, and had cherry pie from GTPC (E's fave), not to mention gourmet cupcakes that Heather brought. We were in a food coma, but it was all good.

The boys won their game on Sunday morning, and we hightailed it out of there. Made it home just in time to go to most of Emma's game, which we hadn't planned on. Picked up Lola at the dog park and went home. Whew. It was a crazy fast weekend!

bountiful harvest

2010-09-22T16:31:00.003-04:00

The tomatoes are rolling in fast & furious.

Be prepared to be stunned:

I know! I could hardly believe our good fortune. We could feed tens of people with bounty like this! There are 11 whole tomatoes on these plants. That's almost 3 tomatoes per person in our household. I suppose I ought to be thinking about canning or making sauce with the leftovers.
We have been growing tomatoes for more than a dozen years, and never have we had such success in the garden. Mere amatuers shouldn't even bother to try and replicate our large plot. Start small, or you'll have so many tomatoes you won't know what to do with them all.

I have no idea what the hell happened here. Some of these were grown from seed, some were established, hearty plants from the nursery. All turned into rejects better suited to "That's a Swell Garden, Charlie Brown" than sauces and caprese salad. Needless to say, we won't be planting here again next year.

thirteen

2010-09-18T08:15:00.000-04:00

On September 18, 1997, this gorgeous creature came into my life, and it hasn't been the same since. Happy Birthday to my baby. We love you more than words can say!

Ohio bound

2010-09-17T19:36:00.002-04:00

We made it nice and early to our hotel in Dublin. It's a beautiful night. Evan is running around the hotel with his teammates and we are catching up online. In a minute I'm going to head to the bar for a margarita with a friend. Early early games tomorrow and BFF Heather visiting in the pm. It's gonna be a good day!

Tournament weekend one

2010-09-15T16:22:00.004-04:00

Last week and this week are so incredibly busy. On the list of things that I have done/will do:

open house at school for both kids
rented a trombone for Evan
team photos for Emma
team photos for Evan
cleaned out one refrigerator and two freezers, and transferred all food to our new fridge
returned items to three different stores
shopped for things to replace the returned items
make plans for Emma's 13th birthday
56 loads of laundry
drove to Dearborn to get Buddy from my in-laws house
ortho appointment
2 soccer games
5 practices

all of this while being gone from noon Friday to Sunday evening, two weekends in a row. In addition to all the regular house work.

I thought things were supposed to slow down once school started?

Heh.

Anyway, we were in Petoskey last weekend for the Autumn Blast.

This photo is not altered in any way, the fields really are this green! You are practically out in the middle of nowhere, and the grass is nicer than most golf courses. Crazy.
We had 2 games on Saturday, 2 on Sunday. The team is having a hard time gelling. I don't know why exactly; maybe combining the age groups was the wrong way to go. I see a lot of effort on the field, but it's not translating into winning games. By Sunday Emma was ready to quit. She doesn't see that she really is improving...she keeps moving up in groups by twos, so she doesn't get a chance to feel like she is matching her opponents' skill, y'know what I mean? Losing is hard.
This one went to stay with our new friend Bill and his three dogs. Let me tell you, she was in doggie heaven. Bill and his wife Carol took her to the dog park for hours every day, not to mention there was a festival in Plymouth where they walked her around all three days. When she wasn't out socializing, she and Bentley here were tearing back and forth across the house, romping and playing. She was so wiped out that she slept all day Monday. And she gets to do it again this weekend.

So now we are headed to Dublin, Ohio and the OP Invitational for Evan's team. We will be celebrating the big one-three while we are there. Oh boy.

Thankfully, we get to stay home after that!

Hello September, I have missed you!

2010-09-07T16:52:00.003-04:00

So somehow it's the 7th of September already and the first day of school. Yeah for school! Yeah for routines and schedules and having something to do on weekdays other than bug mom! This year the kids are back at the same school again-6th & 8th grades. Both had a good first day. Both brought several pieces of 'homework' for me to do. And even though they were fighting like cats and dogs yesterday, last night found them the best of friends, and Emma helping him pick out his first day of school outfit.

And there you have it. It's all good.

We had a really nice Labor Day weekend, with lots of relaxing, laughing with the cousins, staying up late and spending time together. The next two weeks will be really busy: in addition to all the usual day to day stuff, we have a tournament in Petoskey (Emma), a tournament in Dublin Ohio (Evan), and one 13th birthday. I'm not prepared for any of it!

Happy fall!

Good ridance, August. Glad to see you go.

2010-08-31T21:52:00.002-04:00

Well this month has by and large sucked.

I haven't had a lot of positive things to say, so I decided to just stay away and wallow in my bad mood. The good news is that it's beginning to lift...I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I hate this last month of summer. Everyone is bored. Soccer training begins and messes up the day. It has been too hot and humid to enjoy anything, even the pool, that is if we get time to go. I'm sick of the kids watching their inane TV shows (I swear I am going to scream if I hear the iCarly theme music one more freaking time) for hours on end. I'm sick of the songs on the radio. I'm sick of there being nothing on television. I'm sick of the garden. I'm sick of everyone being home and yet not being home. I'm sick of not sleeping well, of eating poorly. Of not being able to go to the dog park because it's too damn hot.

I can't wait for fall. For cooler temps. For schedules. For a little time to myself. For long walks with Lola. For chili and stews and bundling up at soccer games. For cider mill trips.

September will be good.

Temagami: The Kids

2010-08-02T14:50:00.005-04:00

You might wonder what the kids did to occupy their time on the island. Let's see...

They posed sweetly for pictures on top of large cliffs...
They slept up in the loft of the bunkhouse...
She overcame her fears and kayaked...
He sat still for approximately 15 seconds...

They built inukshuks and frog huts...

They spent quality time with Dad...
He pretended to fall off the cliff to freak me out...
They scaled great heights...
They boated...
And hiked...
And laughed themselves silly playing games...
And canoed...
And kayaked like he had been doing it forever...
And snuggled...
And took leaps of faith into chilly waters...
And had one of the best vacations ever!

The kids were the perfect age for this type of vacation. There were enough things to do on the island and fun places to explore, yet they wouldn't ever be too far away from us and I didn't feel like I had to watch over them all of the time. They would disappear for an hour or two and come back with handfuls of wee blueberries, or a story about a rock formation they saw, or yet another kayak trip. Evan was even pulling out and setting up the kayaks by himself.

I thought they might miss not having a television, but it really was a non issue. The weather was nice and we did so many activities, they didn't have time to miss it.

Tomorrow: The animals.

Temagami: The Island

2010-07-30T16:53:00.007-04:00

My Aunt Cindy and her husband John own a small private island in Lake Temagami, northern Ontario. Go ahead and Google it...I didn't know where it was either! For years, my dad & step mom have been telling us how awesome it is and how we should get the kids up there for a few days of fun and exploring, so this summer, when the chance presented itself, we jumped on it.

FYI, my pics and words won't do justice to how beautiful this place truly is!

On the lake, there are approximately 1,000 small islands just like this one. This is 630, summer home of the Sappingtons.
The island is rock based, with some areas that slope down into the water gently while others drop off and are perfect for jumping into the lake.

There are countless interesting rock formations, and everything is covered in soft green moss or fluffy white reindeer moss. Or both. I almost forgot the blueberry bushes...about 10" tall and covered in tiny tiny blueberries all over the island.
A thick bed of pine needles make you feel like you are walking on a mattress. Paths are delineated by logs and stones, and lead you from house to house, swimming spots to the dock and back again. Can you spot Lola lounging in the sunshine?

The pines are tall and soft and whisper in the wind. They provide shade but allow in filtered sunlight throughout. The best part about the island is how secluded you are. The lake is so large, days will go by before you see another boat or person. There is no traffic noise. There were no crickets, but the loons serenaded us almost constantly, and the resident hummingbirds were not afraid to zip past you while lounge on the hammock.
The entire coast is fun to explore, for humans and dogs alike!! I love the reeds and lilys that dot the shoreline.
Some pretty interesting things grow on there!
Cindy and John have made a wonderful home here!
We were lucky enough to see the full moon and have beautiful weather during our stay. Unfortunalty we didn't see the Milky Way or the Northern Lights, but maybe next time!
Tomorrow, I'll talk about the kids!

busybusybusy

2010-07-21T22:12:00.002-04:00

I thought summertime things were supposed to slow down. I was wrong.

I've had a million blog posts in my head but haven't taken the time to actually write things down. Time is speeding by!

We are leaving tomorrow morning to go on vacation, which is beyond exciting. We are going to a small private island in Temagami, which is in northern Ontario. I won't have internet access until Monday or Tuesday, but I promise to share lots of photos of our adventure. Until then, be good and have a great weekend!!

cuteness

2010-07-13T19:44:00.002-04:00

This was my favorite photo from the sleepover

until I saw this one :)

the Fab 4 hit the park

2010-07-12T21:06:00.002-04:00

Luke & Olivia are spending the night at our house for a cousin sleepover! I took the kids to the 'castle' park to run around and play before bedtime. A few snaps:

on the bridge to Mill Race Village

Lukey crossing the monkey bars

the girls on the tightrope

dancing in the gazebo

ringing the bell

It was a lot of fun, but boy did we get sweaty! I didn't realize it was so humid outside. Now if only everyone will go to bed!

Hello, July!

2010-07-06T09:53:00.003-04:00

We've been doing a lot of this in the last week!

I don't even remember July 1st...each day feels much like the last. It's hotter than hot and we are just doing our thing.

Emma has been volunteering with a few Girl Scout buddies at Safety Town last week and this week. There are so many helpers that they each have a personal buddie. Em's is Xander. She loves him.
Evan went to a carnival and his first concert with a buddy yesterday. Haven't heard from him yet, but guessing he had a great time.
spending loads of time with the cousins-'the Fab 5', playing, swimming, beading, coloring, laughing. It makes me wish even harder that they lived here :)
settling into a summertime rhythm. Pretty laid back while it's sooo hot, but we did get in quite a few dog park visits and walks last week while it was cooler.

That's about it for us! I have to go find the perfect birthday gift for a certain 5 year old :)

Canadian invasion!

2010-07-01T21:54:00.002-04:00

The Anderson's have arrived!

needless to say, my kids are excited just a wee bit :)

the girls

Emma & Luke doing crazy dives

Livvy

Lukey

getting a tow around the pool

Treiber two stack

Luke losing his drawers

Matt & Beanie

3 of 5 Andersons are staying for a whole month, which gives us tons of time to play and play and get to know the kids a lot better. It's going to be awesome.

scenes from summer part deux

2010-06-28T17:01:00.003-04:00

Things are in full bloom and looking pretty good around here. Mother Nature has blessed our region with plenty of rain, and only occasionally do I ever need to water the garden by sprinkler. Of course, all the rain means lots of weeds and killer mosqitoes. I have more bites than the last two years combined.

We finally have a flower on our Lily! This plant has been in the pond for 2 years and this is the first flower we've gotten. There are about 30 lily pads right alongside of it.
another view of the pond. In the lower pond are the cattails, which are taller than I am! The lovely orange flower is on my favorite tropical plant that I bought this year, a Bengal Tiger Canna. What you can't see are the tadpoles with their tiny legs and our new Koi.
Hey, who gave this kid sharp shears?
I bought this hanging plant last weekend while shopping for Father's Day. It's in a huge iron frame lined with a cocoa mat, 6 or 7 plants, and it was $40. A total steal. Of course it weighs more than I do and requires 2 watering cans a day , but still a steal.
Our major project for the weekend was trimming the birch tree. The lower branches were touching the top of the tallest plantings, so Bart decided to take off at least two layers. I can't believe the difference! Before it was almost like being under a willow tree. Now it's very open and sunny. We'll see how the shady plants like the change.

Happy Monday!

scenes from summer

2010-06-24T13:56:00.004-04:00

This pic makes it painfully clear that I have an almost teenager in the house! Never in a million years would she wear this suit anywhere other than at home (nor would her father let her!). In the last week she has been obsessed with 'being tan'. I overheard a conversation between Em & her brother about what boys in middle school like (tans, blondes, big boobs) and I have to wonder if it is fueling her desire to be tan. Funny in an ironic way. She usually does get very tan over the summer, as we spend quite a bit of time in the pool, but she never payed any attention to it before.

ps. Yes, she is wearing sunscreen

a summer day with the Torm's

2010-06-21T20:14:00.005-04:00

Today the three of us went to visit my friend Sharyn and her kids. In all the times I've gone to hang out with them, the kids have never gone with me (Em went once for a super quick visit but didn't meet all the kids). I thought they would enjoy meeting new faces and the change of pace at the Torm's.

They had a great time! Evan & Alan were fast friends, promptly bonding over basketball, unicycles, and sister tormenting.

Wendy & Emma chatted the afternoon away.

Both kids enjoyed the tree swing, the car wash, and climbing trees.

And water balloons.

Brian catching big air in the moon shoes

Al had Evan spinning so fast...it was hilarious

not quite steady on the unicycle! He needs another week :)

Did I mention water baloons? Al & Evan ganged up against Em, Wendy, Mark & Brian. Mark defeccted to the boys team while the girls picked up a neighbor friend. The balloons were flying. Sharyn & I managed to not get wet (I don't know why they never thought to gang up on us, but they didn't).

A fun time was had by all! I had to practically drag Evan out of there, and he didn't want to go in the first place!

Thanks Torms!

sweet strawberry goodness

2010-06-18T17:00:00.000-04:00

This morning we got up and went to pick berries before the heat set in. Just in time...right now the AC is humming and it's at least 83 out there.

The berries were on the small side this year, and early as well. All the spring rain. Didn't stop us from filling up the car (and our bellies) with sweet strawberry goodness. Mmmmmmm...

Happy Friday!

soccer tryouts

2010-06-16T14:33:00.003-04:00

Anyone with kids who try out for travel soccer teams know how stressful the whole tryout weekend can be. No exception here. I did think this year was going to go pretty smoothly, with both kids on established teams. Last Wednesday, Emma's new coach offered all the girls a spot on the team adn I thought they were all going to stay. That was the plan.

Things rarely go according to plan.

Evan's group had 30 kids tryout for the 2 existing teams of 11 or 12 kids. Last year they barely had enough for the 2 teams! The directors decided to add a third team. They are looking to next year when they want to transition the boys to 11v.11 and will need a 16 person roster. What I didn't count on was that they were looking to shake up the teams, which is exactly what they did. 3 boys were brought up from the swoosh team, so 2 boys had to go down as a result. It's sad to lose your players, your friends. Luckily, Evan was offered a spot on the Nike team. Now he will just have to work hard to prove that he wants to be there.
Unfortunately, the drama didn't end there.

Many girls decided at the last minute to go to other clubs and other teams, so our guaranteed team all of the sudden only had 7 girls. Things were looking bleak until Monday, when our coach decided to combine our girls with the U15 girls (who were experiencing the same thing) and make one team. What this means is that Emma (who was playing up already) will be playing up again, against 15 year old girls. And we may not play at all in the spring, when high schoolers are trying out for their high school teams.

Some of the 15 yr. olds didn't want to play with 13's, so many of them left. As of right now, I have no idea how many are on the team. I will find out in about an hour, at registration.

Because I am the co-manager.

Insane. Wish me lots of luck, cause I'm gonna need it!

ps. Congrats to my kids. You guys are awesome!